


Breaking Point

by MemoryDragon



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Adventure, Angst, Gen, Heero was my original favorite to break, I'm too scared to re-read it, It shows, Mem steals ideas from Babylon 5, Mental Torture, Old anime fics, Suspense, Why was this fic so popular back in the day?, it's probably terrible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-05-08
Updated: 2003-05-08
Packaged: 2017-11-16 22:26:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 28,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/544520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MemoryDragon/pseuds/MemoryDragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heero's been kidnapped and it's up to the rest of the pilots to find him. But will they find him before he is broken...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** Gundam Wing belongs to Sunrise and Bandai. I don't own it and make no claim.
> 
>  **Notes:** Okay, so this would be my first big chapter fic. I know, scary, right? And it was posted so long ago that I'm half afraid of reading it now. However, it is what it is and it's still one of my most popular fics on ff.net, tying with one other fic for being on the most number of favorite lists. *shrugs* Anyway, it a Gundam Wing fanfic, mostly involving Heero and Duo. No pairings, because romance and I don't exactly get along. XD No pairings means no pairings... Not with the original characters that pop up eventually either, though one of them is slightly one sided. 
> 
> Surprisingly enough, it's also the reason I started liking Wufei. I originally hated the character, but after writing the scene from his point of view I liked him a bit better. Then I watched the show in Japanese and liked him a lot better (amazing how little differences in the voice can really make a difference), but it started with this fic. 
> 
> And for any Quatre fans... I apologize. I really am sorry. I mean that. I like Quatre honest! It's him that hates me and I can't write him for crap no matter how much I try. Maybe one day I'll be able to write him without cringing...
> 
>  **Originally Posted:** May 8, 2003

Heero hesitated. He stood in front of the modest apartment that belonged to Duo Maxwell, his fingers inches away from the door bell. This might affect the other pilots as well, but it also meant Heero had to admit he needed help. The pilot sighed and stepped back. He would send a message to everyone else and then he would come up with a plan. 

But where else could he go? He knew it would soon be too big to deal with alone. 

Indecision held him on the edge of Duo's doorstep. Heero swallowed and raised his hand to knock, only to have the door open before he had the chance. 

"Hilde, I'm going out for-" A boy about Heero's age with a long chestnut brown braid ran out of the house and right into him, pushing the pilot over. In an effort to regain his balance, Heero accidentally grabbed onto the other's braid, causing both of them to fall onto the concrete sidewalk. The young man yelped about his braid as Heero rubbed his head where he hit it on a patio table trying to get up. 

A teenaged girl with a beret covering her cropped blue hair in a jacket with jeans came to the door to see what the commotion was. At the sight of her best friend and his fellow Gundam pilot sprawled out on her patio looking dazed, it was all she could do not to laugh. 

"Duo! You should watch where you're going..." She put a hand up to her face to hide the giggles that threatened to ruin her scolding. She began to help Duo up. 

"It was _his_ fault, Hilde! He tugged my braid!" As soon as he was up, Duo started to stroke the said braid tenderly. He looked up to glare at the intruder, but his expression changed to one of happiness. "Heero! What're you doing here?" 

Mindful of the table, Heero slowly got up. "I came to warn you..." 

The braided boy threw an exasperated look to Hilde before he got behind Heero and pushed him inside. "Lighten up! Couldn't ya come over once in a while for a regular visit? Like normal people?" 

"Why?" 

"Why do I even bother with you sometimes..." Duo threw his arms up in the air in a gesture of giving up. "Come on, the war is over! It's _been_ over for several years. Get out and relax!" 

"Spend some time with friends!" Hilde picked up his lead. "Have some fun!" 

Heero gazed back at both of them with his level persian blue eyes. Hilde looked down, but Duo refused to let him win. "Heero, you need to enjoy yourself more often! Live life to the fullest!" He waved his hand over Heero's eyes when he got no response. "Any of this getting through to ya? Hello?" 

"Ch. Whatever." 

The American sighed. "I give up. What did you come to warn us about?" Hilde excused herself to make some tea, leaving the two boys standing in the door. Heero narrowed his eyes and tentatively suggested they continue inside, where no one would over hear. "Sure, come on in." 

Duo waved for Heero to follow and disappeared into the house. As he slowly walked in, the Wing Zero pilot was thrown into a dream-like state of memories. The hallway was full of pictures, some with frames of all sorts, others just taped on until Duo could get a frame. The pictures were not only on the walls either. Stand up frames on the small table with a phone nearly overcrowded it. 

The pictures themselves varied. There was one of Duo and Hilde at the fair. A picture of a clown standing by a lion with an older women in the back. A rich looking blond Arabian in the middle of a group of men in uniforms; all making funny faces. A surprised Chinese boy with a katana in a small practice area. Out of all of the photos, those four stood out to him. 

Heero came to the living room, a room with even more pictures. The furniture was cheap, but nice; an old couch in front of a put together T.V. Next to it was a coffee table, all four legs level, with a lamp. A easy chair was on the side with another lamp for night reading, for the window behind the T.V. let plenty of light in. There was even an old record player, complete with records of some old groups Heero had never heard of. He was about to sit on the patched-up couch when Duo yelled, "Heero!" 

He turned around only to be blinded by a flash of light. His reflexes took over and he immediately reached for his gun. "Heero, calm down!" The boy's vision returned to see a frantic Duo with a camera in his around his neck, hands held up in surrender. "Hey, I was only taking a picture!" 

"Why?" 

He smiled brilliantly. "I only wanted a picture of you, is all. And you're just as bad as Wufei about letting me take them. At least with you I don't have to turn tail and run hoping Wufei would run out of breath from screaming 'Maxwell!'" The smile faded as he noticed Heero was not amused. "Aw, it wasn't that bad was it?" 

"Ch." 

Duo muttered under his breath about forgetting how much of a wonderful conversationalist Heero was and sat in the easy chair. Taking the picture out, he started to wave it around and eventually put it down on the table. He turned on the radio as Heero sat on the couch. "So, now that we're inside, what did-ya come to warn me 'bout?" 

"The reports of the terrorist organization calling themselves the X-cybers have risen in the past few weeks. The threats have ranged from bombings to random shootings all over the world. The group tries to get across it's point that the current government of earth is-" 

"Turn that off." 

Duo hit the off switch on the radio and the room was again filled with silence. The whole point of him turning it on was to fill that gap... He was wondering if the other pilot would ever start talking, when he finally did. "Someone's been trying very hard to kill me. Usually, I've been able to get away, but the attacker has been growing more persistent and hired more men." He hesitated slightly, unsure of if to go on. Shaking his head he continued. "I was followed here. I lost them, but I think you should know this might not be limited to me if he succeeds. I believe the other pilots are in danger too." 

The American smirked, "Aw, so the perfect soldier does care about his friends." Heero ignored the comment. He tried again. "Would it kill you to at least crack a smile once in a while?" 

"Why?" 

"This is going nowhere..." Duo sweat dropped. "Okay, someone's trying to kill you. There aren't many people who actually know we're the pilots, right? Are you sure this isn't just some mistake?" 

"I-" Heero reacted before Duo knew it. He pulled his friend down just before a bullet broke the window and hit the place where Duo's head had been resting. 

"Okay, next question. Who the hell are they?!?!" Duo whispered as they both jumped behind the couch. More shots rang out. "Hilde! Call the police!" Not like they would be any good, but at least it might distract the sharp shooters. 

Heero pulled out his gun and began to shoot back, taking careful aim. "I don't know." 

"Great! Just great!" Duo sat back and shook his head, watching the bullets enter the wall and cringing at the sound of shattered glass frames. "And we just bought this couch... They'd better have good insurance!" 

Heero ran out of bullets. Ducking down and disregarding Duo's ramblings, he reloaded. They must be desperate, attacking in daylight in a semi-respectable neighborhood. He was taking aim again when a small object came through the broken window. Smoke came out of it, slowly filling the room. "We have to get out." 

"Can't. They're shooting at the front door too!" Heero looked back at the gas bomb and the realization hit him. 

They weren't desperate. This was well planned. 

"This is bad," Heero said as he dropped down behind the couch a final time. He covered his mouth with his hand, but that would not help for long. 

"Gee, ya think?" The sarcastic remark was cut off by coughing as the other pilot did the same. "This is... not cool..." Duo fought to say as he folded his body over closer to the ground. He soon passed out. 

Heero reached in his pocket for a bomb. They would not succeed; he would not let them. Even if it meant killing himself and Duo. But before he could ignite it, the smoke had clouded his blood. He fell forward next to Duo. 

The smoke dissolved harmlessly into the air after a few minutes and two men came in with gas masks obscuring their faces. The smaller of the two knelt down besides Heero and nodded. "This is the one." 

The tall one kicked Duo in the stomach and smiled as his foot connected. "What should we do to the rat's friends? I don't believe in spilling the blood of a lady, but this one... This is 02, isn't it?" He brought up his gun and aimed for the braided boy's head. 

"Leave him for now." The short one stood up. "That way he can suffer knowing his friend is missing. We came here to get Pilot 01 and that is all." 

"Fine." The tall one gave Duo one more kick in the ribs and picked Heero up. They both left through the window just as the wailing of police sirens pulled up to the front of the house. 

* * * 

Duo regained consciousness with great difficulty. He could hear a news report somewhere in the distance. When the pilot finally managed to open his eyes, he was staring at an unfamiliar white ceiling. "Where-What happened?" 

Hilde came from out of no where – she had been sitting next to him the whole time – and hugged him. "Duo! You're okay!" 

He blinked a few times as he tried to get his bearings. "Hilde? Where are we?" Besides the obvious that he was in a hospital, something else was not right. There was something Duo was supposed to remember.... 

"We were taken to the nearest hospital after the attack. I woke up in the ambulance, but you've been out for nearly four hours. The doctors were beginning to worry. The last thing I remember was cooking in the kitchen and a weird smelling cloth was put over my mouth." She babbled on, but Duo was far from paying attention. 

Not something he had to remember, but some _one_. But Hilde was here and neither of them were real fond of the neighbors. Attack? Oh, those guys shooting at him and Heero could be considered an attack. But they could take care of- "Heero! Hilde, where is Heero?" He was such an _idiot_. How could he forget his best friend? Even if Heero may not regard Duo as his best friend, who else would put up with his moodiness? It's not like-Damn it! Pay attention, Duo! 

He concentrated as hard as he could on Hilde's face as she swallowed hard. What was wrong with him? "Heero... He wasn't there when the police got there, Duo. They searched every where, but he just disappeared. Do you think he left?" Her voice rose with a slight hope. 

Duo dashed it. "No..." Well, time to do something about it then! If Heero was gone, he couldn't just lie in bed all day! 

As soon as he tried, Duo realized sitting up might not be such a great idea after all. The room was spinning. Hilde was spinning. His _head_ was spinning. And it was _not_ pleasant. He quickly lay back down and closed his eyes. After a few painful minutes of wondering if the world would ever stop that dratted spinning, it had stilled enough that Duo could start calming Hilde. "I'm fine, I'm fine... Just very dizzy..." 

At least the pain brought him into awareness and he could focus. Heero was gone. He had come to the braided pilot for help and Duo failed him. He would not fail his friend again. But how to find Heero if he could not even sit up? 

Hilde seemed to want to get a nurse. He grabbed her wrist before she could leave. "Hilde, I need you to contact the other pilots." 

"I'm not doing anything until you're better." 

"Hilde!" He carefully opened his eyes and tried to stop the girl from whirling around. "Listen, get the nurse if it makes you happy. But while she's here, you've got to get hold of the others." 

She turned back and he thought she nodded. "Alright. Just lie still, I'll be right back." And she left. 

And now Duo could regret being able to think clearly. 

~TBC~


	2. Vengeful Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, this isn't as bad as I remember it to be, though it's a very slim hope. Then again, I've never met hope when it wasn't on a diet. ^_^;;;

Heero woke up with his hands tied behind his back and feet bound as well. It seemed as if he had just been thrown on the floor of the dark room. And he had a hell of a headache. 

He groaned and tried sitting up. The boy was back down again seconds later. The fact that the room was spinning did not help his headache at all. His breath was short and shallow as he waited for the dizzy spell to pass, but it did not. Heero could see, vaguely, if he kept his eyes open. Cargo was piled all around him and underneath him Heero could feel an engine of some sort. They were taking him off the colony. 

No guards. They must have a lot of faith in the gas to keep him down. Unfortunately for Heero, that faith was not going to be unfounded. If they wanted to kill him, they would have already done so. Trying to escape now would only get him hurt worse and ruin any chance he had of escaping later. 

So he would wait. And feel guilty for bringing Duo into this. Doubtless, he was being held somewhere close as well. Heero closed his eyes. He doubted the headache would let him sleep, but luck took pity on him. After a few more moments of pain, he passed out again. 

* * * 

The braided pilot in question was, in fact, trying to sit up for more than five minutes and upsetting the nurses. 

"Mr. Maxwell," a nurse with long, strawberry-red hair started, "you really should stay down!" 

A younger nurse looked about to fret her nails off. "You're only making the effects of the gas worse! Please stop!" 

Duo ignored them. He never liked doing things the easy way. What was the point of that? Anyway, _anything_ was better than having all these thoughts running around in his head. Most were going too fast to even make sense of. 

Where could Heero be? Who kidnapped him? Why didn't they take the braided pilot as well? How much would his insurance cover of the apartment? 

Now, _that_ was a question worth worrying about. Heero could take care of himself, but how would he and Hilde pay the damage costs? And what would they- 

Too much. Lie back down. 

He sighed. This was just _not_ cool. The younger nurse was immediately trying to calm him down. Duo really just wanted to shoot the nurses. But he couldn't see straight. He would miss. Besides, guns weren't allowed in the hospitals anyway. 

"You shouldn't push yourself so much!" One day. It had only been one day. And the effects were supposed to last a week. Killing himself sounded really good right now... 

"Duo!" A familiar voice breaking his mental hell. 

Wait a second, he can't be here yet! It was only one day! Sure, it may _seem_ like forever, but it really was only one day! He opened his eyes to see a spinning young blond millionaire. A very concerned spinning millionaire. "Quatre? How-" 

"I was visiting one of my father's old business partners on this colony when Hilde called. I was actually about to come and visit." He shook his head slightly, getting his thoughts back on track. "Are you okay?" 

Duo smiled weakly. "I've been better," he sighed. Well, things were looking up. Now he didn't have to think so hard. "So, did-cha bring any good food for the sick?" The American then turned full force puppy eyes on Quatre, who laughed. 

"Don't they feed you here?" 

He stuck out his tongue. "Yeah, but it's all healthy junk!" 

Quatre laughed more, but turned serious as he sat down besides Duo's bed. "The others are getting here as fast as they can. Then we can organize a search party for Heero." 

* * * 

Heero was being lead down the hall when a dizzy spell hit him. He fell down to one knee, bound hands trying to stop him from falling further. A week from when he first woke up, the dizziness had only lasted for a few seconds at a time. But the headache had stayed and it was almost unbearable when he was dizzy. Not like he had been given much treatment or food. Who ever they are, they left him in solitary confinement for about a week. At least, Heero thought it was a week. Transferring from the cargo hull of the ship to wherever he was now had been painless. Heero had been asleep the whole time. But now, he was not and walking added to the never ceasing headache. 

"Get up, dog!" The voice came from one of his guards. Heero's eyes cleared too late to be able to dodge a well aimed kick at his side. The Japanese boy was too weak to recover, his breath completely knocked out of his lungs. The guard would have kicked him again when the second stopped him. 

"No rough housin' him. Remember what we agreed?" 

"Yes." The younger guard spat on Heero. He obviously doesn't remember well enough... "But it's more than he deserves." 

As Heero regained his breath, he slowly got up. The pilot's two hands went up to his cheek and wiped away the moisture. Then, without the urging of the guards, he continued in the direction they had been leading him. His gaze was straight in front of him. The physical pain that shot through Heero's head nearly made him stumble again, but he kept going. The two guards followed. 

"Ya were out numbered, youngin'." The aged man sounded far too old to be a guard. Heero would bet he used that to his advantage. "Don't ya worry though, this un will get his in the end." 

Now that was interesting. What did they have planned? 

The young prisoner looked at his at his surroundings out of the corner of his eye, once the pain receded slightly. The hall was tight and dark, the only light was an occasional lamp, spread thin to conserve energy. Heero had already decided he had been brought to earth. Where on earth? He had no clue. 

The younger guard grabbed Heero's arm tightly enough to cut off the circulation and pulled him into a door way. 

The light in the next room was so much brighter than the dim hallway that Heero had to blink several times to see clearly. When his vision returned, this was what he saw: 

The room was full of people of all ages and sizes. A quick estimate was fifty people; women and men, young children, old invalids, teenagers about his age, all rugged with hateful gazes. All staring at him. Wonderful crowd. 

He also finally got a good look at his guards. The youthful guard was well built, blond, hot headed, and stubborn. Heero's age when he first left for earth. Has an outfit that was slightly better than most of the others, but still worn and second hand. Hatred for Heero coursed through his body and tensed his muscles as if he were holding back from killing the pilot. 

The older man was about fifty-ish. Absolutely filthy, he was smoking a cigarette to add to the awful smell emanating from him. He was more laid back, feelings well hidden. But the hate was still there; Heero could feel it. As if he sensed the Japanese boy's thoughts, the older guard took out the cigarette out of his mouth and smiled nastily. The toothy grin showed yellowed teeth and Heero was hard put not to cough as the smoke from the cigarette reached him. How was he captured by the slums of the earth? 

On the far side of the room the wall was covered with pictures, like Duo's house. It was the only happy part of the room. Families on vacation, weddings, and school pictures. The people in the photos were all happy, some even looked like the younger versions of the people in the room in better days. Before the hate and coldness was cast over their hearts. Heero's own heart sunk as he guessed at what they were. 

The youthful guard pulled him to the front of the room, his gray eyes lit with glee as Heero tripped. Then he practically threw the prisoner to the floor. One of the men, the same short man who was on the kidnaping scene, came forward. 

He was the fanciest of the lot, in an old suit with a worn-out tie that clashed horribly. Light blue eyes and dirty blond hair tied back in a short pony tail. He had the look of a lazy cat. 

A lazy cat who was intent on playing with its prey. 

"Hello, Gundam pilot," he began, smiling amiably. "I bet you're wondering why we brought you here." When Heero said nothing, the man continued. "You see, my associates and I," grand swiping motion toward the crowd with a slight smirk, "make up the X-cybers." Okay then, maybe they were not the slums of the earth. But certainly lacking in money. "Rather ironic, that. The media seems to think we're a political movement." They weren't? This didn't bode well... "But in all reality, we are just an organization out for revenge. Getting involved with politics was only a side effect." The realization hit Heero hard. He'd seen the signs but he had just not wanted to believe. That meant... "Yes, that means we want our revenge on you pilots. And which one better to start with than the pilot named 01?" 

"Where is Duo?" 

Heero had the pleasure of seeing the man thrown off by the question. He _almost_ smirked. But the man recovered quickly. "Oh, you mean 02? We have no use for him yet. 02 can search vainly while we play with you. He could even contact the others, spreading the news and fear. He'll feel so guilty when we finally bring him here and we show him your dead body. We plan on killing you one by one." The man sat and contemplated for a moment. "We might just go out of numerical order and leave him for last... But that's getting ahead of myself. I haven't introduced myself yet." There was a chance. The X-cybers were underestimating the pilots. He hoped. 

"I am Dr. Gerald Kotanay, my doctorate being in psychology. But by now you must be wondering what our plans for revenge have to do with you." Well that was hard one. What did the doctor take him for? An idiot? Heero almost had to remind himself he was in no condition to fight, even if the odds had not been against him. The man was trying his patience. 

Or maybe the time he had spent with Duo was being to show some side affects on his personality. 

Kotanay walked over to the wall of pictures. "You see these?" No response or indication of understanding. If the man was trying to drive Heero insane, the pilot was sure as hell going to try to do the same. The plan always worked when Duo refused to shut up. It didn't work this time though. "These some of the people you killed." 

Resentment. He was a soldier. He had fought for people like them. It was not his fault they tried to stand against him. Suddenly Heero was very tired. Before, he could fight believing in only himself; he had to. But now it seemed they wanted to take even that away from him. 

The doctor was pointing to different pictures, explaining how and when Heero, or one of the other pilots, had killed the people caught forever in the still frame. Never referring to the pilots by their names either. Only 0 this and 0 that. Heero recognized his objective. To make them seem like monsters, beings that could and would kill for fun. Beings that did not deserve names. 

Eventually the doctor realized the prisoner had stopped listening. Taking one of the pictures off the wall, he walked slowly up to the pilot. "But I haven't told you the reason the founder of the X-cybers hates you so much." He grabbed Heero's chin forcefully and made him look at the picture. 

It was of a beautiful woman with long raven black hair flowing softly around her. She was on the beach and a slender hand shaded her violet eyes from the sun. The doctor put the picture in his breast pocket. Suddenly the laziness left his stance. The doctor pulled Heero up by his shirt collar, forcing him to see the cruel and slightly crazed eyes. If the grip hurt, the pilot did not show it. "She was my wife, you callus bastard. My wife whom you killed on a visit to her brother on an OZ base." As suddenly as it went, the sleepiness returned in a heartbeat. He let go and turned to the others. "Take him away." The doctor waved his hand in Heero's direction. "We'll deal with him in the morning." 

One of the teenaged girls in the room stood up. "Is that all? Why not kill him now?!" 

Kotanay faced her with a kind look on his face. "Remember what we agreed, Miss Adéle. You will have your revenge." Heero was being dragged out of the room. The last thing he heard was the doctor telling the girl, "But first, he will suffer." 

* * * 

"So, how do we find him?" Trowa asked. They were all finally gathered in Duo's kitchen. It had been hard leaving Catherine, but he had to. His friend's life was on the line. The straight faced clown leaned against the wall, next to Wufei trying to think of _something_ to help. The pilots had a precious little to go on. Wufei alternated balling his fists and relaxing his fingers. He had been the last to arrive, trying desperately to convince the Preventers to help Heero. 

Quatre sat next to Duo, quietly sipping some tea. How many times had Duo come over for a cup? Just to talk and have some fun. Now the American sat beside him, barely touching the food and drink set before him. He went through great pains to make everyone believe he was fine, but Quatre knew the truth. "I don't know." The Arabian was always the one who came up with plans, but nothing he could think of was useful. 

Wufei was frustrated. "Lady Une refuses to do anything. She says there would be a political uproar because of those X-cybers, if she gave us assistance. I'm not allowed a uniform or a badge while we search." He banged his fist against the wall. "Sally promised to tell us if she found anything unusual, but that's all we have to go on." 

Quatre's soft features fell. He had really been hoping for Preventer back-up. The news on the paper he was about to lay on the table was disheartening as well. There were just too many places to search. "I've been doing some research and I think they took him to earth as luggage on a shuttle. I've already tracked all the shuttles that have left this colony for earth." He did not add that it was only a belief, not fact, that lead him to that conclusion. 

Picking up the paper, Trowa glanced over the list. "We can rule out the smaller cities. If this is a terrorist group, the best place to look would be older cities, large enough to hold a big group of people," Quatre continued. 

"The best action to take would be to split up and search," Trowa suggested. "Quatre and I will take Paris." Wufei came up behind him and declared he could search Hong Kong alone. 

Trowa handed the paper to Duo. The braided boy was completely recovered by now and itching for action. The blond had a hunch he would be the one to find Heero, if it were possible. "I'll head for New York. If none of us find him, then we take the next place on the list." 

Approving his choice, Quatre raised the next issue. "I'm too well known to the public, and Duo had his pictures everywhere when he was captured by OZ. We need to go incognito or someone will recognize us." He reached over and picked up Duo's braid. "You need to do something about this..." 

"I'm not cutting it!" 

Sigh. "I'm not suggesting you cut it, but we need to find someway to hide it." Quatre thought for a moment and then snapped his fingers. "Perfect!" 

Duo looked very scared. "Perfect?" he chirped, his voice cracking slightly. 

"Don't worry." Quatre said, getting up from his chair. He left the unconvinced Duo and the others in the kitchen as he quickly ducked into the bathroom. He found the two things he was looking for instantly, another hair tie and a brush. 

He returned back to the kitchen and stood behind Duo, gently taking out the braid. "Quatre!?" Duo squeaked, pulling his braid out of reach. 

The blond sighed in exasperation. "Don't worry, Duo. I won't hurt your hair. If we don't do something to your braid, then there's no way you could get close to the ones who kidnapped Heero!" 

That won him over. Grudgingly, Duo returned the braid to his back. Quatre finished un-braiding it, then softly ran the brush through the thick hair. The next step was tying the long mane back in a pony tail at the base of Duo's neck. 

Now came the hard part. Twist here, twist there. A couple complaints or gasps from the tortured Duo if Quatre accidently pulled too hard. There! Done! The millionaire stepped back to admire his handy work. 

Duo's hair was in a flat, if not somewhat messy, bun at his neck. After waving his head around to make sure it would stay, he nodded. But just because he agreed to wear it like that did not mean he would enjoy it. The things he put up with for friends. 

Quatre smiled with a hint of amusement. "There. You should probably use bobby pins to keep it in place better, but other than that you can just wear a cap over it. I don't think anyone could remember the picture well enough to recognize you like that." 

The Chinese boy started to leave. "Let's go then. There's no time to waste." 

~TBC~ 


	3. The Search Begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Two, coming right up! Also, this marks the start of the Quote of the Chapter/Fic. Since those have become a staple to my fics, I thought I should point out the first one. <3 It actually has nothing to do with the chapter this time either, more just what was going on with my life at the time, but hey...

A funny thing about the Zero system. It was made to fight wars, but it made Wufei friends with the other Gundam pilots.

Not at first. Of course not. He only fought with them because they had the same goal; the same enemies. That was his only reason. But his only reason changed into many reasons without Wufei realizing it.

One of those reasons was Duo's cockiness and playfulness in battle. Just when the other pilots were ready to give up, Duo would boost the moral by making some witty remark about how the God of Death won't stand for the enemy's doings or start a contest of who could destroy the most mobile dolls.

One was Quatre's kind smile and gentleness; always checking if any of the pilots were hurt after each battle and not just taking the pilot's word for it. He always had a plan and could think clearly.

One was Trowa's constant presence. He was always ready to back Wufei and the others up. Always ready to do what ever needed to be done for the other pilots, including giving his life.

One was Heero. Heero was always clear headed; always knew what needed to be done and how. Heero was always on the right path. Heero never gave up. A true fighter willing to give his life for the colonies. A truly strong fighter.

After the death of Treize and the end of the war, Wufei took his own path away from the other pilots. He missed them. But anytime a invitation from Duo or Quatre came, anytime Heero or Trowa wandered close to his path, he turn down the opportunity to meet them again. Treize's death confused him. Confused him so much that after the second raising of the White Fang - which he did help out in - he chose to become evil and help Mariemaia.

That was a mistake. A big one. He realized that now. But it helped him get over Treize's death. Helped him admit that Treize was not such a bad guy after all. That not everything was black and white. And he owed it all to Heero...

It was impossible not to admire Heero, a perfect soldier. The young man touched everyone's life he met. He certainly didn't take credit for any of the things he did. As far as Wufei knew, the soldier still considered his life replaceable. And while that may have been true at one time, now it was reverse. If he died, so many people would feel the loss and be lost. Wufei included...

Which meant he should stop meditating and start searching. He ruefully brought himself out of the trace state he put himself in and looked around his hotel room, taking stock of his surroundings. Double beds - the hotel staff had sworn he ordered it - three lamps, two paintings of flowers and fruits, one T.V. in a wooden vanity, one table at which Wufei sat at, two chairs, one which was occupied by Wufei, the other-

The other should have been empty. And no one Wufei didn't know well could come in without disturbing his trance. But there she was, sitting in the chair across from him, reading a whodunit. As if she felt his surprise, Sally looked up and smiled at him. "Hello, Wufei. Thought you might want some help." Well, that explained the extra bed the hotel staff insisted he had requested.

He raised an eyebrow. _He_ would not need help. "I'm going to help wither you want it or not. Heero was always there to help us and I'm not about to let him down when he needs me."

"Why not help one of the other pilots?"

She just shook her head. "I work with _you_ , Wufei. Surely my company isn't that bad."

Women. Wufei still didn't understand them. He didn't think he ever would. And worse yet, she made up her mind. There was no way to talk her down. "Fine. But there are some contacts that will only appear if I'm alone."

Sally smiled. Obviously, she found his response amusing. Why was beyond him. "Let's go. We don't have time to waste."

* * *

"Trowa, are you sure we can get information in there?" Quatre had transformed from the son of the richest man in the colonies, to a cute kid trying to look tough. He wore khaki pants and a dark red shirt that was barley visible under a heavy brown jacket. To add to the effect, he had tied a scarf around his neck and put sunglasses on his head.

The Parisian night life blooming around them was giving the blonde the creeps; though it might have been the cold of the snow. The general feelings of the people weren't very nice either...

Trowa's fashion was tamer. He sported tight blue jeans and a black sweater. He was well aware of the attention he and Quatre were attracting. He looked over to the club Quatre was pointing at. "It's the only lead we have. You don't have to come, Matt, if you don't want to."

Matt was the name Quatre decided on taking here. Matt, a kid with semi rich parents and one poor cousin whose parents died in the war. He would serve as a distraction while Trowa looked for information. But if he really didn't want to go, Trowa could get the information alone...

Quatre clamped down on the growing feeling of dread and raised his head bravely. "Okay, let's go."

The club was converted warehouse, an old and run down brick building with boards on the windows. Quatre could hear the music blasting through the walls as they neared the place. He was beginning to have doubts about the whole thing. Why couldn't the information on Heero be found at a classier joint? One that didn't feel so... wrong?

Because something was wrong. His other sense picked up on the feeling as soon as they entered the quarter. The people here... it was like something he had never felt before. And whatever it was, the feeling was definitely _bad_.

Was that what was it? He inched closer to Trowa as he blushed very deeply. He was getting awful appraising glances from women and even some men. It took every ounce of his courage not to grab Trowa and run back to the hotel room. And lock Trowa up so he couldn't come back on his own.

But he didn't. As much for his own pride as for Heero. It was just a feeling after all. A feeling wouldn't be able to hurt him. Just as long as he didn't let it get to him. After all, he had been though countless battles before, and that had to be far worse on his other sense than this was. He hoped.

Just get this over with.

Trowa looked exasperated with him as the blond scooted closer. But as Trowa took Quatre's hand to drag him to the door, a gentle squeeze told him to hang in there.

They were greeted at the door of the club by a rough looking man with a scar over his right eye. Quatre nearly tripped in his haste to stop before colliding into Trowa. The man eyed Quatre with suspicion.

He was on the edge as it was; the last thing he need was someone to recognize him! Could the man know who he was? Impossible! Besides, Quatre Winner would never come _here_ of all places-

"He with you?" The question was directed at Trowa. "Yeah, he's my little cousin. I thought I'd show him a good time." Trowa was acting awfully cool about it. Maybe this was normal? Was he just super edgy because of that feeling?

Quatre swallowed the lump in his throat and smiled brightly, holding out his hand. "I'm Matt. It's a pleasure to meet you." The burly man just threw his head back and laughed.

Trowa's glare had the unmistakable meaning of 'shut up.' Quatre pretended to shrink back, rebutted. It wasn't too hard; Quatre was having a harder time convincing himself that Trowa was acting.

The other man controlled his laughter and slapped Quatre on the back. He spoke to Trowa again, ignoring the look of surprise on the blond's face. "Keep an eye on this one. His type will only cause trouble in a place like this." Trouble? Him? He was so confused

"Don't worry, I will," Trowa said coolly as he passed through the door. Quatre squashed the feeling of indignation of having to be protected. Trowa was only going along with the plan. And technically, wasn't Quatre just having thoughts of running away? He shouldn't be so contrary. He followed Trowa in the club. The world fell out from underneath him.

This was where the sense of wrongness was coming from. In here, it was amplified ten times stronger. In here, the notes of the wrongness cut through him like a flute. In here, he knew what was wrong. In here, the wave of emotions hit him like a tsunami.

On the outside, everything was normal. Just another bunch of young people having some fun, some more 'fun' then others. But on the inside... Emptiness. None of them cared! Most of the people hated themselves. More than a few were contemplating suicide. One was going to fulfill that dream of death tonight. One was planning on raping a girl who was just as empty as he was...

None of them care! About themselves or others or the pain or anything! And it hurt him, cutting him like a crystal knife. They were all so empty-

"Maybe you should go back, Matt." Trowa. Trowa was normal. Quatre was cut off suddenly from the other people. Trowa was trying his best to look disgusted at how naive he was. But his concern for Quatre made him hard put to cover it.

"N-No, I'm fine." He focused on Trowa. If he did that, then the pain of the other's just receded to a dull beat instead of an overwhelming blast. A feeling a pity was coming from the other pilot. Pity for the other people in the club. Quatre was so finely tuned to Trowa right now, he could almost pick up the thought behind it.

Trowa used to be like that? Knowing that slightly unnerved him.

There. The barkeeper they were looking for. Quatre sensed a deep resentment coming from the man. Hidden and buried deep. Now, it was Quatre's job to keep others at bay until Trowa could talk to the guy...

The bartender looked up as they sat down at the bar. "Hey kid, first time at a club?" He seemed nice. He was about twenty with short cropped hair. He wasn't like the others. Resentful, yes. But he was also full of other emotions, full with a soul behind his eyes. The man turned to Trowa. "He's not looking to well. He a relation of yours? If so, maybe you should take him home."

"Yeah, he's my cousin. He insisted on coming." Trowa looked like he very much wanted to drop Quatre back off at the hotel. He didn't think that Trowa was acting either. "He also insists that he's fine."

With more belief then he felt, Quatre nodded and said, "I am. Really. I'm okay."

"Well then, what can I get you two to drink?"

* * *

He put the phone back on the receiver and left the phone booth. Duo felt odd with out his braid on his back. If only Quatre weren't so right about his braid, he would have killed the blond. If only Heero weren't in life threatening danger, Duo might have put him there to get revenge. But he is. And Quatre's right. He sighed. Pulling his jacket up to his neck, he looked around again.

New York was everything the young man had imagined. Street venders sold hot dogs and pretzels on every corner. Others held briefcases of watches and sun glasses; possibly stolen, possibly not. These ones moved from corner to corner as a policeman came along. The sunlight glistened on the newly fallen snow, but no one paid attention to it. No one had the time.

It was a beautiful city in the winter time. Duo passed several places that still had Christmas lights up, adding to the regular flashing lights of Time Square and Fifth Avenue. People hurried about, not paying attention to the ex-Gundam pilot. Some going to work. Others to sight seeing, oohing and awing at the theater district and the big department stores. Who had the time to notice a small young man with a baseball cap and sunglasses?

Not many people. At least not here. Here was not where Duo wanted to be.

After about twenty minutes of walking, Duo got to a more run down part of town. There was a big difference between the colony slums and earth slums and he was suddenly glad to have been born where he was. The difference was in the cleaning crews. The colonies had to have them to survive. Earth did not, and therefore did not waste money on them.

Duo bought a hot dog and sat on a bench, watching people walk by. This was where his contacts had lead him. But this was still a lot of city to cover. He sighed. If only finding Heero was as easy as watching people walk by.

He spent the past few days building up a reputation for himself. One of a person who hated the Gundam pilots with a passion. One who was very rough and rowdy. And he let drop some hints that he was looking for an organization that was against them...

None of it was a lie. In a way, he did hate what the Gundams stood for. He hated wars. He hated killing as well. He did it so no one else had too. Someone had to do the dirty work, and Duo figured it might as well be him.

Ah, wait! Another chance to put up the act! "Excuse me sir, but I think you're wrong about those damn Gundam pilots."

"What-what do you mean?"

"All they ever did was stir up more trouble." Duo snorted. It almost disgusted him. He hated twisting the truth like this, but he was never going to find Heero sticking up for the Gundam pilots. But that didn't mean he'd like what he was making out to be. Heero better realize what he was going through...

The two people quickly scurried away from the seemly insane person who would question such heros. Duo sighed. Life was laughing at him. He could almost hear it. The laughing was so loud, he was surprised it didn't call attention to himself.

"Yeah, well, go ahead," he muttered to himself. "Laugh. See if I care."

* * *

Wufei looked up from his book as Sally came in. She flopped onto the bed and sighed. "Find anything with those contacts of yours?" She slowly started to unbraid her hair as she kicked off her boots. She must be really tired to not even mention his glasses. He didn't know why, but she always got a kick out of seeing him with them on.

He put the book down and took off the glasses. He folded them carefully and put them in the case as he said, "Yes. More or less, everything points back to the Americas."

"That's the general feeling I've gotten. Look's like Duo is in the right place then."

Wufei got up and started the coffee pot by his chair. Sally looked like she would need it some time soon. "I'll make arrangements for a flight to New York tomorrow. From the sound of Duo's messages, he's going to need some help finding leads."

She looked up, startled. "He hasn't found any yet?" Wufei shook his head. "Hmm... That's not good. And we won't get a flight for a while, since we can't use our badges."

Wufei closed his eyes and sent up a silent prayer to Nataku. "Hopefully, Heero will last that long."

* * *

Trowa looked out of the corner of his eye at Quatre. The blond was completely and totally wasted. As far as he could guess, the alcohol numbed Quatre's ability to sense people's feelings... and Quatre figured that out pretty quickly.

Maybe it was for the best. Quatre would hopefully not remember a thing from tonight. But it was not easy, keeping him upright... "I think you should go home now, Matt."

"But this is fun!" He hiccuped and took another sip of his drink. "This place... way cooler with the bad," hiccup, "feeling gone."

The clown shook his head and steadied Quatre once more before the blond dropped his drink.

The bartender sympathized. "How'dya get suck with the kid, anyway?" The man pushed another - strong - drink towards Trowa. He'd probably need it by the end of the night.

There were a few advantages to growing up on a battlefield. One was that he could hold his liquor. Another was that he came in possession of wide vocabulary of curses.

But now is not the time to reminisce about the past. He had to use this opening to his benefit. He hid his worry for Quatre under a mask of indifference. A mask he painted just for this occasion. One that hated the Gundam pilots passionately. Maybe not passionately, but hateful just the same. Unlike Duo, he had no qualms about lying. Besides, would it technically be considered lying if he were just like a character on stage? No, he did not think so.

"When my parents were killed in the war, I came to earth to live with his family. _He_ ," Trowa pointed to his drunk friend, "said he'd tell Aunt Mary where I was going if I didn't take him. And that's several hours of lecture I'd rather miss."

"You're from the colonies? And you lost your parents?" The man looked fairly surprised. Wait till he heard the punch line.

Quatre wandered off, presumably after one of the ladies with questionable virtue. As long as he did not go too far, the blond should be fine. Trowa stopped worrying about him. "Lost my sister too. I was at a friend's house, spending the night. A Gundam pilot came and destroyed an Oz base that was by our apartment. For all they loved the colonies, this one didn't care enough to make sure my family survived the explosion." He let a growing resentment show in his voice.

If the bartender asked, Trowa could recite the year, colony, and district the explosion took place. It actually happened. As far as the clown could tell, it was one of the very few mistakes Heero ever made. And it was hell trying to find that out. The only reason he even knew about in the first place was complete accident; Heero had several nightmares while he was sleeping after the self-detonation. But after many, many, hours of research, Trowa knew the complete story. That was the mask he chose for this mission.

The bartender was seizing him up. Like he was deciding whether or not to tell Trowa something important. Yes... Yes... Almost had him... Just a few more seconds plus the right comment-

Three tough guys chose that moment to rough house Quatre over one of their girls. Damn. Trowa sighed. Quatre was too drunk to defend himself. He would have to step in. He threw a look of wistfulness at the bartender and stood up. "What," he started, keeping his voice low as he moved in between his friend and the muscle men, "do you think you are doing?"

Two things should have warned these guys off. One was the low growl escaping from Trowa's throat. The other was fluid grace that he moved with. It was easy to tell these thugs were all muscle, no brain.

"Just having some fun!" Point proven. The idiot wore a vest with no shirt and jeans, topping it off with a red bandana. Judging by the other's formation, he was the leader. And he was smirking. "You got a problem with that?"

Time to wipe that smirk off of his face. Or, more exactly, punch it off. "Yes." With that, Trowa moved too quick for the leader to follow. He landed a perfectly placed punch on the thug's face. The thug was nearly thrown backward from the force of the blow. "Leave my cousin alone."

The other two fluttered around their boss as he regained his balance. "Maybe we should leave this guy alone, Pierre." Surprise, surprise. Maybe these guys were smarter then Trowa had given them credit for. That is a shock.

Pierre wiped the blood off his mouth and seemed to consider the proposition. And Trowa inwardly sighed at the look in the thug's eye when he came to a decision. Maybe a little bit smarter, but not much. "Come on guys, let's go-"

"If you are planning to try and jump me later, I don't suggest it. Here, there are lots of lights and people. But in an alley way, I can't guarantee your safety." Trowa nodded absently to the bartender, who was speaking rapidly to one of the hired muscle. If he could just keep the thugs talking just a little bit longer, they would be surrounded-

Damn! Quatre was moving. Trowa had been so focused on the thugs he had failed to notice his drunk friend walking - tripping - out from behind him. The thug noticed this as well and gave a cry as he lunged for the blond.

The clown shifted his weight and quickly closed the distance between himself and Quatre. The thug was surprised to see Trowa in front of him instead of the blond, but it was too late for him to stop the attack. Instead, Pierre switched targets instinctively. Trowa nearly did a flip over the thug, when a warning light went off in his head. No flashy stuff here!

Unfortunately, his hesitation earned him what was going to be a very nice bruise by the end of the night. The thug was smirking again and had already pulled his arm back for the next blow.

Now he was ticked.

This time there was no hesitation. This time Trowa moved down and under to hit a lower blow at the man's stomach while the thug's arms thrashed over the clown's head. This time, Trowa smirked as Pierre fell gasping for breath into the arms of one of the clubs 'peace keepers.'

Fear was written all over the other two's faces. They saw the lion, even if their boss did not. And this beast had bared his fangs. They let themselves be meekly lead out of the club, helping the hired muscle men with their boss.

Okay, back to Quatre. Trowa shook himself mentally and turned around to see the blond flat on his face, knocked out from the liquor. Gently, the clown bent down and put the other's arm around his shoulder. Time to go home. Information could wait until tomorrow.

"Wait! There's a back room we can use to get your cousin a bit more somber, if ya want." The bartender intercepted Trowa near the door. The look in his eye told Trowa the night might not be over yet.

"Alright."

The back room had a sink and cabinets on one wall and a couch up against another. The rest of the room was filled with boxes; not too crowded, but it was a storage room none-the-less. Trowa carefully laid the blond on the couch and waited as the bartender wet a rag.

After making a clean sweep of the room with his eyes and locking the door, the bartender cut to the case. Trowa was impressed. "You don't like the Gundam pilots, do ya?"

"Why should I?" he said flatly in return. "One of them killed my family."

"I know an organization that plans to get even with them. They even have one of them in custody now." Bingo. Right on target. They would save Heero yet. The bartender looked through one of the boxes until he found a pen and a pad of paper. He wrote down an address and handed it to Trowa. "It's a bit far away but if you make it, tell 'em Jûles send ya."

"New York, huh?" Duo was in the right place. Well, time to get Quatre and move out. "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind."

* * *

"What do you know about schizophrenia, pilot 01?" Schizophrenia? Mentally Heero shook his head. The weird word sounded slightly familiar, but he could think of no meaning for it. Physically, he stayed focused on the doctor. "It's an old brain disease. It's been completely curable for a several centuries now." Hm. Maybe he hadn't heard of it. Doctor J would have considered it insignificant.

Heero was strapped into a chair with electrodes placed here and there. He began to get uneasy as he realize the majority of them were on his head. "The disease made the patients see things that were not real. They would meet and make friends with people who were never born. It was all in their heads, you see. They were delusional. When they spoke, nothing made sense. Incomprehensible to normal people. But to them, every experience they saw and every person they met was real. They didn't know reality from fantasy."

Okay, people with this could be cured, right? So what did that have anything to do with Heero? The doctor was obviously waiting for him to ask the question and Heero was too tired and hungry to out wait him. "Why are you telling me this?"

"I'll get to that. But first let me tell you _why_ people with schizophrenia saw what they saw. It turned out to be a genetically inherited chemical defect in the brain, more specially, the neurotransmitters. When that was confirmed, it was easy to come up with a chemical to counter that. It was also easy to make a chemical that would turn normal people into schizophrenics."

Heero did not like the way this conversation was going. He didn't like it at all. The straps were too tight too break... Damn... They must have known his strength. First Doctor J, and now this quack. All they wanted was to mess around in Heero's head. He didn't _want_ people playing around with his mind anymore. He just wanted a semi-normal life...

And these doctors would not let him. They were going to win over him again. Him. Heero Yuy. What everyone called the perfect soldier was nothing more then a perfect failure because a doctor always came along to screw him over.

But the fraud of a doctor had not finished with his speech. "And with the technological increases, scientists even found a way to program _what_ the patient, or in this case the victim, saw and felt. If you hadn't guessed, that is what we are going to do to you. Programed Schizophrenia."

Heero refused to let the mad doctor defeat him. Besides, he knew it would not be real. He could deal with it and get out of here when they were not expecting it. He could make it through this and save himself. He had to. The other pilots would be in danger eventually as well if he did not.

Kotanay started to load the program just as one of the lackeys stabbed Heero in the arm with a needle to inject the chemical.

* * *

Duo had been aware someone was following him for an hour now. And he was getting tired of it. He was tired of walking through the bad parts of the city after dark. He was tired of not having his braid on his back and feeling nearly frozen to death. And he was tired of not having any clues on Heero. Whoever was following him was in for a rude surprise. He turned down a dark ally.

A really buff looking boy of about fourteen soon came into the ally way, his footsteps crunching on the snow. He looked around in puzzlement. Sure, there was no way humanly possible that Duo could have gone up the fire escape in that amount of time and not have made a noise. But that didn't mean you take for granted no one was there. One should know to take for granted that after all the training they went through, the Gundam pilots were almost super-human.

Duo grinned. The poor kid was going to get all of Duo's aggressions taken out on him. He slipped down from the fire escape and tapped the kid on the shoulder. "Looking for me?"

Well, he looked surprised. He was even more surprised when Duo landed a punch right in the kid's stomach. The pilot almost pitied the boy. He certainly knew how it felt.

He was about to pound more sense into the kid when a light soprano voice called out, "Stop!"

Duo made sure the kid was not going anywhere before he looked up at the voice. Standing behind him was a girl about his age wearing all black. She stood just out side the alley way in the light where he could see her. This, combined with the white atmosphere of the snow, made her blond hair stand out in the moonlight, her emerald eyes flashing as she spoke. "You hate the Gundam pilots, do you not?"

Was this a break? Was he finally on to something? "Yes. They should not have been necessary to create true peace." That was all true. Well, besides the true peace part. He'd never really believed such a thing could exist.

"Then the files were true. I have a proposition for you."

He let go of the boy who slunk over to the girl. She nodded briefly at him after checking him over to see if he were hurt badly. "What is that?"

"I'm going to give you the chance to help us kill one of the Gundam pilots."

~TBC~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The Universe hates me, you know. I don't know why. I have never done anything to the Universe to uh ... Well all right a few things, but after a while, you would think it would be enough. Yes, we have had our little fun with Londo Mollari for now. Perhaps, it is time to move on and find someone else to play with."  
> -Londo Mollari, Babylon 5


	4. The Breaking Point

"Doctor Kotanay, an unknown entity has appeared. Do you want me to reprogram it or delete it?"

"What is it doing? Can you read it's intentions?"

"It appears to be working with our program."

"Then leave it. What we've programed hasn't been affecting him. Perhaps this will. Just keep an eye on it and see what the unknown entity does."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

It was two days after they had injected him with the chemical. Sometime within the first few moments, he'd been knocked out. He didn't remember how he got back in his cell. But there he was. They must have taken off all those electrodes after the program had been installed as well, for they were gone too.

Heero hid behind a defensive wall, his mask. It seemed the program could not reach him there. He could vaguely hear people - the program, he reminded himself hastily - from behind the door - his mask. At least he thought so. It was getting harder to tell what was real and what was not. At least the pounding headache had dulled to a minor pain.

As far as he knew, he had not eaten since the meager lunch the guards had given him before the injection. He hadn't slept since then either. Heero had found out the hard way the program worked very well in his dreams. In order to keep his sanity, he did not sleep.

And then Duo came.

"Hey, Heero! Trying to get some sleep?" It took Heero a few moments to register who the voice was. "Hm... You don't seem to be doing to well."

"Duo?" His reply was weak. Was that his own voice? It was so hoarse sounding. When was the last time he had had something to drink? Heero blinked a few times to clear his vision.

It was Duo, but not Duo. He looked like Duo, but his outfit was beyond strange. Long black sleeved shirt with a collar. But the shirt was missing a front and showed off his chest. The two sides of the shirt met at a black belt and then flared out like one of those old fashion tunics one saw in pictures of Robin Hood. Two yellow and blue strips of clothe - part of the belt? - hung down from his waist. Loose black pants. A silver cross on a long chain around his neck. A long black cloak the hung over one shoulder and was draped over the other arm. But the real eye catch was the big ornamental scythe Duo held, decorated with serpents and jewels.

Something was not right about him either...

Duo started to twirl the scythe around, much like he used to in Deathscythe Hell. "Don't worry. I'm only a figment of your imagination. Well, I took the liberty of making my own outfit. Your imagination really sucks at that kind of thing." He then stopped the scythe and leaned over it to look at Heero, cobalt eyes blazing with intensity. "I'm here to put you through hell!"

Heero felt his eyes widen. Confusion swept through him. The other boy tapped his head. "That poison is making you hallucinate, Heero. And so, here I am!" That was what was wrong with Duo... That smile... "By the time I'm finished with you, you'll be wishing for the God of Death to come for you." ...that smile... was cruel.

"I thought," Heero started. He steeled himself and forced his voice to be stronger. "I thought you were the God of Death."

The harshness in the other boy's smile increased ten-fold. It was so wrong... Duo was never cruel like that. It was all Heero could do to stop the shivers running down his spine. Duo's voice was just above a whisper. "Why do you think I'm taking you to Hell?"

Silence.

Heero was paralyzed by the cobalt eyes. He could not move from his place on the floor to get away, nor could he break eye contact. Duo finally released him by turning around. "Hm, well let's get started. How about that little girl and her dog? You seem to think about her often. Or is that too over rated?"

He shook his head, unkept bangs brushing against his closed eyes. "You can't ignore your self-conscience, Heero," Duo said cheerfully.

"I can try."

Heero winced as Duo laughed. It was contorted, an ugly copy. Just like his smile. "You never can change, can you Heero? Just another obstacle to overcome, right? Well, you won't be able to overcome your own guilt."

He was gone. Vanished without a trace.

Great. Duo's become his conscience. A really evil one. But he can ignore it. He may have forgotten when he was talking to Duo, but none of that was real. It was just the poison. The chemical. He was talking to something that did not exist. He still had his sanity-

"Why did you kill me, mister?"

Startled, Heero opened his eyes to see a shock of white in the dark cell. There, standing in front of him, was a little girl in a white dress and hat. Her arms full with a small puppy. Her eyes full of heart-aching tears. "I didn't - I mean, I didn't mean to..."

Twin teardrops fell down her cheeks as she looked down at her dead puppy. "Couldn't you have at least spared Mary? She was just a little puppy!"

"It was an accident... Dammit! I can't change the past! What do you want me to do? ..." He couldn't stand her looking like that. She didn't deserve to be here.

He bent over to touch the girl, but she pulled away. "Don't touch me! I gave you my flower, but you killed me! DON'T!"

Heero sat in shock as she ran away. Ran straight into the waiting arms of Duo. "How could you do something like that to this poor little girl? And then trying to touch her? To soil her hands as well as your own?" He tisked and made motions to comfort the little girl.

Anger. Resentment. "Your hands are just as dirty as mine! We didn't have a choice! We had to fight!"

"Did I, now?" The girl disappeared. Duo grabbed Wing's pilot by the chin, forcing him to look directly at two vivid eyes. "Remember, I'm not even real. Something that proves you are slowing going insane."

The other boy let go and Heero stumbled back, eyes wide with fear. He was not going insane! He could ignore the voices, the people...But he could feel Duo's hand on his chin... They weren't real! They couldn't be!

"Or am I?" Duo laughed. "Remember, I'm a part of you so I know every thing that goes on in that despicable little head of yours."

He closed his eyes again. They weren't real! No use talking to something that wasn't real!

"The perfect soldier. Afraid of nothing but his own mind. Let's try this for a size then."

Heero suddenly found himself in an open court yard inclosed by a huge brick building. This place... Epyon... He tried standing up, but his legs would not support him. Here was were he had...

"Yup. This is where you got Epyon," Duo said, standing in front of him again. His normally cheerful smile - well, the real Duo's smile - was twisted into one of savage joy. "Where you slaughtered soldiers on both sides... including the ones you gave hope to when you showed up."

"I - the system! I couldn't..."

"Couldn't control the system." The self proclaimed God of Death finished for him. "But you are the perfect soldier. You, of all people, should have been able to control yourself."

More anger swelled up, giving Heero the strength to stand. "The system was designed to make the pilot go insane! I'm only human! They shouldn't have expected so much from me!"

"If you were human," a new voice said, "you wouldn't have killed me!" Heero turned to face the sound. The tenor was ruff and belonged to a young man whom Heero did not recognize.

"Who are you?" he asked haltingly.

The man was slightly older then Heero, probably in his middle twenties. He held himself with a rebellious air and a forceful personality. He wore a jump suit that most mobile suit pilots wore... If the pilot in question was a member of the Treize Faction.

"Why did you have to kill me? His Excellency made that suit!" He cried furiously. "My wife was pregnant and I thought your coming would mean the baby and my other boy would still have a father!" Heero stared at the young man numbly as he went on. "We all thought you were there to help! You caught us completely unaware! Ripe for slaughter, you bastard!"

Heero snapped out of his shock and was unable to meet the other's eyes. "I'm sorry... I didn't... I couldn't control Epyon... You shouldn't have let your guard down..."

Behind him a woman began weeping. Turning around once more, he saw a woman of the same age as the man, holding a child, about five, in her arms. Feeling Heero's questioning glance on her, anger filled her heart. "Why did you kill my husband?!"

Heero checked back over his shoulder at the soldier and saw him standing with his fists balled. His eyes were closed as if in an effort to keep his temper. Slowly, the Japanese boy walked over to the woman and touched her arm. "I'm sorry..." he said softly.

She pulled away from him, clutching the boy to her chest. And then the woman did something Heero wasn't expecting.

She slapped him.

"Don't touch me! Don't even come near me! You ruined my life! How dare you think you can comfort me!" Heero shrank back, his hand going up to his cheek. This was real. He could feel her hand as she struck him... He did this...

During her speech, the young man had come up and put an arm around her. "Don't come near her, you hear! I don't want our children to be stained by your hands!"

Heero brought his hand down to look at it. It was a dull reddish brown, the color of dried blood. "I'm sorry..." he repeated again.

"Sorry isn't enough!" the soldier cried as he took his weeping wife and screaming child into his arms.

Heero watched in growing horror as the woman pulled out an ornate knife from her skirts. She smiled down at the child and positioned the knife in front of her breast. He couldn't take it... "No!" he cried, running to her. "Don't! Kill me if you want, but don't kill yourself!" It didn't matter how fast he ran, she was always too far way! Dammit, he won't make it! "No!"

The scream tore from his throat as he sat up. Looking around, he was back in his cell, lying on the floor. His breath was shallow as he looked around. No Duo. No angry soldier and his wife. No screaming kid who's mother just killed herself. Just him, alone. "A dream..." He must have fallen asleep. He was still sane...

"The baby died with the mother. The kid you saw was paralyzed from the waste down because of the trauma he faced. He has to use a wheelchair, but he's still alive. As a matter of fact, he's one of the ones who brought you here."

No...

Heero collapsed back on the floor, curling up into a ball. It wasn't real. But it was real. All those voices screaming at him were real. It was all his fault...

"You really are pathetic. Can't even face your own deeds without breaking down and crying." Duo tisked as Heero started crying softly. "And those are far from the last. What would the real me think of you if he came in here?"

"I'm sorry... If you want... revenge... Please... just kill me..." Heero managed through the sobs that were threatening to take over. Doctor J... Zero... what should he do now? He hugged knees tighter. Why won't Zero tell him what to do?

There was a sharp pain in Heero's side, causing him to gasp for breath. "You aren't going to die for quiet sometime, Heero. That Doctor has rigged it so you won't until he's satisfied by your screams." Duo sneered as he kicked the boy again. "Perfect soldier... Ha! Hardly!"

"I'm not... perfect..." He never was. Heero never wanted to be. Why do they expect he should be? Why couldn't they just leave him alone?

"Because, Heero, you should have been."

Heero let go of his fragile grip on reality. He'd been pushed beyond the breaking point.

* * *

"Do you hear his screams? His tears? Isn't it beautiful?"

"Yes, sir. It's music to my ears. You're a genius, Doctor Kotanay."

"I know. Keep it recording. The others will want to hear him screaming out the names of their loved ones too. I don't want them to miss it."

"Yes, sir. I'll start programing the everyone else's data now."

A boy in a wheelchair looked back over at the sobbing pilot, still hooked up and tied down. Minerals and fluids that would keep him alive were strapped to his arm. He watched Heero for a moment, then continued typing. He was the youngest member of the group, only eight years old, but he knew what he was doing. Programing was his life. He would make sure the Gundam pilot regretted ever being born.

He smiled as he heard the broken sobs.

~TBC~


	5. The Truth of the Matter

"Kill one of the pilots?!?!" Duo was hard put to keep a huge grin off his face. Inside his head he did a victory dance while adding some scorn to his voice. "That's impossible. The pilots are too good at hiding themselves." There was a chance that this girl had nothing to do with the faction that kidnapped Heero... Ah hell, what was the chance of that?

"What if I told you that the group I represent already has one pilot in custody?" Score! Don't be to quick to react... or too believing either.

Duo's face showed first shock then disbelief. "Really now? Have any proof?" She pulled a piece of paper out from a bag that was slug across her shoulder. On it was a picture of Heero, unconscious on the floor.

If any concern showed on Duo's face, neither of the teenagers noticed. "This kid is a Gundam pilot? He looks about our age... if not younger..."

"Does that make you feel pity for him?" the boy asked, contempt written all through his voice and face.

Duo just barely managed to stop his hand from trying to play with a braid that wasn't there. "No. I know I'm capable of killing someone. I was when I was fifteen and the war was going on. Age doesn't make a difference." Heero would not want pity. Besides, he didn't look too bad in the picture...

All he had to do was pump these two kids for information and be on his way. No problem. Just stay away from corners that would force him to lie. "I'm Duo Ma-"

"Duo Maxwell. We know, you were on file." Duo wondered just how extensive that file was... The girl continued. "I am Adéle de la Rôchelle and this is my brother, Simon de la Rôchelle." French names? "We belonged to the X-cybers."

He raised an eyebrow slightly at the use of past tense. "And why don't you belong there now if they have a Gundam pilot?"

"This is not good place to talk. Our apartment isn't too far away, if that suits you." He merely nodded in consent and Simon led the way through the white world.

On the walk to the apartment - which was really only two blocks away - Duo had the chance to study the two siblings in the lamp light.

Simon was very well built for someone so young. He looked like the perfect example of a jock. Wavy blond hair, blue eyes, muscles abound. Stubborn and hotheaded, no doubt. A likeable kind of guy. He seemed fairly intelligent, but Duo reflected that he would do anything his sister said; intelligence or no. He could easily tell they both adored each other.

She could easily pass for beautiful, with her long blond hair reflecting the moonlight. Emerald eyes showed the passion and just a bit of wistfulness one would expect from someone of French descent. Duo could almost picture Adéle standing at the head of the Women's March Upon Versailles, dressed in that red color the French were so fond of...

Their clothes were a reflection of the neighborhood, a far cry from Quatre's wardrobe. They were old and worn, in some places torn, but not so much that they would be considered rags. With all the snow on the ground, they had to be far from warm... These two were not the wealthiest people on earth. So how did they manage to get Heero...

Well, that was easy to figure out if Duo actually _thought_ for a change. He felt like an idiot for not thinking of it sooner. If all the group's money was being spent on attaining the pilots... No wonder the members would look like beggars, they probably didn't have much to begin with.

Their apartment was in a run down building that might have once been nice. The paint had long ago started to come off the walls and the carpet left much to be desired. Duo didn't even want to think about what could be crawling on the other sides of the walls. He also dreaded seeing the apartment itself.

But he was pleasantly surprised. When they got to the third floor, Adéle unlocked the door to the apartment on the right end of the hall. While outside, Duo couldn't guess how many layers of dirt was on the walls and floor, inside it was clean. The carpet had some stains, but looked as if someone tried to salvage it. It was warm too. Either they found an apartment with a working heater, or they had enough money to fix it.

The living room looked a lot like his and Hilde's. Cheap, but comfortable. An old TV rested in the corner facing a blue flowered couch. The coffee table in front of the couch wasn't balanced, but an old book under one of the legs fixed that. A patched up maroon lazy boy had a two headed lamp next to it. One of the light bulbs was broken, but the other one still worked fine.

There was a bookshelf with well read books stood against the wall opposite of the TV. The books ranged from good condition to falling apart and were mainly romances with a few science fiction books scattered here and there.

"I know it isn't much, but it's the best we can afford..." Adéle said, blushing slightly. Duo assured her that it was how he was used to living. She then lead him to a similarly furnished kitchen and motioned him to sit in one of the chairs at the table. She sat across from him, with Simon on her right. "We are part of the organization, X-cybers. Our parents were murdered by the Gundam pilot 01, while our mother was visiting papa on an Oz base in the colonies."

"You're from the colonies?" Duo asked, mildly surprised. "How did you end up on earth?"

"Dr. Kotanay found us and brought us here. He has been all over the world and colonies looking for people who hate the Gundam pilots." Simon shrugged. "His wife was killed by the pilot 01 and he's spent the last three years learning all he could about that Heero Yuy."

Duo decide some mock innocence would work in his favor. "Heero Yuy? I thought he was assassinated a long time ago on the colonies?" He looked for surprise or blank stares, but instead received surprised of his own.

"That pilot," Adéle spat out, "uses Heero Yuy as his name. It is a great disrespect to a man of peace, if you ask me." Dr. J obviously didn't think so when he gave Heero that code name, but Duo kept that thought to himself.

So these two knew their history well enough to respect Heero Yuy. Too bad they were after his best friend; they might have been sympathetic to they pilots had the war not ended their parents life. "So what happened?"

Simon's eyes lit up. "We captured the pilot!" The smile on his face was one of cruel intent. Duo barely contained his surprise at how fast the transition from nice guy to blood lust went. "I was there! It was so amazing!"

The braided pilot felt queasy. Not only was the kid revenge happy, but he was at the kidnapping? Did he suspect Duo was the other body on the ground when they took Heero away? "You were not allowed near the fight." Adéle added smugly, easing some of the butterflies in Duo's stomach.

The younger sibling stuck out his tongue. "You weren't even allowed to go!" Adéle scowled while Duo laughed. "I helped stand guard over the pilot. I still do!" Simon added with pleasure of the responsibility.

"If you have the pilot, what's the problem?" He was very confused on that point. "Why do you need me?"

Adéle was about to answer, when Simon cut in. "They won't kill the bastard!" he said, pounding his fist on the table.

"They want to torture him first." Adéle's face mirrored her brother's frustration. Duo tried not to choke on the word 'torture.' At least he knew Heero was still alive... "Everyone pooled their money together to pull this off! Even the members who want to kill the other pilots! And now they waste it on the chemicals to torture 01. The money would be better put to use to go after the other pilots!" That was implying someone wanted him dead. Interesting...

"So, you want to go in and kill him on your own?"

"Yes." Adéle's voice was just above a whisper. The brunette could see the passionate fiery anger in her eyes. Duo wanted to make sure she could trust him absolutely, but he could never even try to mimic an emotion that strong...

Besides, that would be lying.

"Why me? Why not just kill him by yourself? I mean, I could be a spy from the other side trying to help rescue the pilot." Duo would have to step carefully over the thin ice. Make them trust him, but not by lying... Why did he have to be so opposed to lying? This would have been so much easier... "Why trust me?"

Simon faltered. He started to speak, but no sound came from his mouth. Adéle thought a moment before answering. "Well, you've lived on the streets. That's obvious. Those mad scientists who created the Gundams would never let a street rat near something so valuable. He might steal it or something." Oh, if she only knew... "Second, you don't seem like the type who could lie very well." Truth again. As long as she didn't ask if he a Gundam pilot... "I'm a fair judge of character. Since I've never been wrong before and we've really got nothing to lose, I trust you. We need you because we can't do it alone."

She was a good judge of character. She had Duo down to the T. As long as Duo could convince himself that he was telling the truth, twisted thought it may be, Adéle would never suspect a thing.

Simon nodded in agreement with his older sister. He looked about fifteen, though he could be younger. The same age Duo was when Doctor G told him to steal Deathscythe... "Okay then. You have my help." The statement earned a grin from Simon and a half smile from Adéle. "But we do this my way. First, don't mention me to your doctor friend. It cause too many questions and get you guys in trouble." Simon was surprised, but his sister nodded in consent. Good. She had probably thought of that before. "Second, I need a map of the place pilot 01 is being hidden. This will help us formulate a plan and a good escape route. I also need to know when Simon's shifts of guarding the pilot are."

Adéle sat back with a thoughtful expression on her face. "Well, Simon's schedule is easy enough, but getting a map would be harder..."

The kid piped up, sensing he could help. "I could draw one! I know every nook and cranny of the old sewer systems!" Duo noted the prideful way he held himself as the young french boy said it. Deathscythe's pilot was almost in shock over his luck. Not that any of it was apparent on his face.

"How could I forget," Adéle said as she reached over to ruffle her brother's hair. "I can vouch for that." Simon, though annoyed at his sister for touching his hair, basked in the praise which evidently wasn't given lightly.

And now, the true test. "And finally, I need you to promise not to kill the pilot on sight."

"What?!?!" Her voice was raised to a shriek. Duo shrank back in his chair slightly. "We brought you here to help us kill him, not to let you have your fun with him!"

He held his hands up in and effort to pacify her. "Hey, hear me out!" She nodded after growling slightly. He wasn't about to let her have the chance to change her mind! "We have to make sure neither of you are suspected." Duo gulped and hid his anxiousness. He had to pull this one off. "If you guys kill him there, some one might point the finger at you. But if we get him out first, we can frame the other Gundam pilots and you two are never suspected." He clasped his hands together. It was the only sign behind the poker face of a nervous breakdown and panic that flew through his head.

Lady luck must be enjoying Duo's company for Adéle nodded after what seemed like an eternity.

And what could be more lucky? Where his contacts failed, he'd found two kids who happened to know the entire layout of the place they were holding Heero. He hadn't been forced into a lie yet and the kids trusted him completely. So, when was this streak of good luck going to end?

Maybe they trusted him because he was their age. This doctor had to be way older then them. Possibly they just had no one to relate to? Or maybe he was just a reliable kind of guy.

All that really mattered was that they trusted him.

But Duo hated taking advantage of them like this. Simon's eyes lit up whenever Duo complemented him and even Adéle was loosening up. They would hate him when they found out the entire truth. Heck, he hated himself for it. Of course they would hate him.

But then, no one liked the God of Death very much in the first place.

* * *

Duo listened to Adéle's and Simon's soft breathing. They had offered him a place to stay and he couldn't have refused as he said he was staying at a hotel. If they kept him here, there was less of a chance that he could contact anyone if he was a spy. Unfortunately, that meant he _couldn't_ contact any of the others. And it meant sleeping on the floor with nothing but a few blankets. He'd gotten used to a soft bed. Just because he was putting on the appearance of being low on money... The things he did for his friends.

His mind wandered back to his eventual betrayal as he stared at the ceiling. If he didn't do it, someone else would have come along and broken their hearts. He might as well save that someone the trouble. Duo sighed in frustration. It wasn't his fault they trusted him so completely and didn't ask the right questions! He hated justifying himself.

This was Trowa's line of work. He shouldn't be the one going behind the scenes. If he didn't need these two to show him the way (they wouldn't tell him anything until the time came to make a plan), then he could have just busted in a long time ago. But that was where Lady Luck left him. Well, he guessed he couldn't have everything.

The pilot was so caught up in his own thoughts that he did not see Adéle until she leaned over and waved at him. Duo bolted foreword, accidentally hitting her head with his. "Ack... I-hey. Sorry about that..." She looked annoyed, but slightly amused at the same time. "You startled me..."

Adéle motioned for him to be quiet by pointing to the still sleeping Simon. He nodded and followed her to the kitchen. She turned on the light and sat down at the table, waiting for him to sit across from her to start the conversation.

"Can't sleep?" Duo shook his head, hoping she would not ask why. "Neither can I. The thought of pilot 01 being so close to death..." The was silence for a time before she spoke again. "Why do you hate the Gundams?"

Duo constrained the urge to bolt out the door and run. He had to think of some story or she would be able to tell something was going on. Then Heero didn't stand a chance of getting any help from his direction.

"You are going to lie to me, are you not?" Adéle interrupted, handing him a cup of water. "I want the truth."

Looks like Lady Luck was completely gone from him now. Duo took a deep breath and decided to make his own luck. "I never had parents. At least, not that I knew of. I grew up on the streets of a drifter colony in L2. No one wants a street rat, but no one wants one running around loose stealing things either. Just before they decided to go through the trouble to 'get rid' of me, Father Maxwell stepped in.

"Father Maxwell was a Catholic priest who ran a little church with the help of Sister Helen. They took me and the rest of the gang I had in until we were adopted. Course, I was too much trouble so I kept getting sent back to the Maxwell church. He was pretty old I guess, but he decided to keep me there. Now that I think back on it, I don't know how he put up with me either...

"So I stayed at the church; making mischief, questioning everything in the church doctrine, and giving Sister Helen a royal headache. I think that Father Maxwell was planning on turning me into a priest actually. To follow in his foot steps or something. But I just can't see me as a priest," besides one from the order of the God of Death, he added silently. Father Maxwell was probably turning in his grave.

"Anyway, war seems to look for the happy people in the colonies. I guess it likes to plague them 'cause they don't need it. One of the Gundam pilots was stirring up trouble." Duo closed his eyes. He hadn't known he was a Gundam pilot at that point. He'd only known life on the street and that Sister Helen and Father Maxwell would always be there to laugh at his questions and braid his hair. Behind his closed eyes, he saw himself sitting in Father's lap, the two of them smiling down at him. And he was always stirring up some sort of trouble. Truth.

"I made a deal with the rebels. I'd get them a mobile suit; then they would leave. They didn't think a seven year old could do it, but I did. I may run and hide, but I never tell a lie. I stole one from the military base on the colony. I thought I could help the two people who had cared for me.

"But when I got back I found the place in shatters. Some one had dropped a bomb on the church to get rid of the rebels. As far as I could tell, the Gundam pilot had just left them there to die."

More images filled his head. Driving the truck up to the church, just barely being able to see where he was going with blocks tied to his shoe to reach the pedal. His younger self jumping out to pronounce his victory only to see dead bodies and other ruble scattered around where the church once stood.

Among the rubble, he had found Sister Helen. He'd been surprised at how young she looked. And pretty too. It was the first time he'd ever seen her without her habit. "I found Sister Helen just before she died. She told me what happened. It was all that pilot's fault for not doing anything..."

Her last words echoed in his ears as well as the piercing cry he had let out after it. "The Lord bless you and keep you," she said. He didn't believe in God anymore. The only thing he believed in was death.

And it was his fault for not being there. He had the sin of surviving.

* * *

Adéle was silent while the boy she had just met today poured out his life to her. He was not lying now. Yes, there were some parts he had left out, but all of it was truth. The blonde realized that he had never told this to anyone before. She guessed talking to strangers really was easier than someone you knew...

The silence that fell afterward was uncomfortable, to say the least. She wasn't sure what to do. Duo opened his eyes and stared to gaze out the window at the moon. He finally broke the quiet. "I don't think I believe in much anymore. Only death."

She thought back to her own childhood, remembering the happiness Adéle had felt before her parents died. "That's not true though. There is much to believe in," she said softly. "Maman... She always told us that if we keep people who are gone in our hearts, that they would live forever. A way to beat death..."

Duo was visibly startled. "That's the innocent's way of dealing with death. If you believe that, then why did-ya turn to revenge?"

"Dr. Kotanay said our family would want that. That they could not rest until we got revenge for them." The truth was as plain as that.

It annoyed Adéle not to be able to read the brunette. She could never tell what he thought of her and her brother. She knew when Duo was thinking about them. He got a far away look in his eye and schooled his features into a continual smile. But then, the Adéle felt lucky to even get as far under his masks as she did. She got the distinctive feeling that he didn't let many people do that.

"Adéle..." he paused, as if unsure whether to continue. "Can I ask you something?"

"What is it?" She asked carefully. He would only pause if he was going to ask her something she would not like. She was not going to let her guard down when his voice betrayed uncertainty. She doubted that he even realized it was there.

"If you ever kill, make it clean."

Adéle watched as he held his breath, waiting for her answer. This meant a lot to him. She couldn't guess what brought this up. "Why do you think we asked for your help? I want our family to rest in peace as soon as possible." She was sure of what she was saying and put all the confidence in her voice that she could to prove her sincerity.

Duo let out a sigh of relief. "Well then, if you don't mind, I think I'll try going back to sleep. G'night!" He waved cheerfully and moved back to the bed room.

Adéle stayed in the kitchen and hugged her knees closer to her. She hated to admit it, but he made her feel warm and secure. She beginning to wonder if she was falling in love him...

That was ridiculous.

He was still hiding something. She could tell, but Adéle decided she would not push the issue. Telling her his history had cost him and she was surprised he was not emotionally exhausted from the talk.

Or maybe he was just so good at hiding it behind that cheery expression and smile. He was good at hiding.

Eventually, Adéle followed after Duo. By the time she got in, Duo was a sleep. But he had changed beyond recognition.

Awake, she'd assumed him to be about twenty-five. But in sleep the years faded away till he looked about her age. She had been told that men looked more innocent in sleep, but she had never given it any credit until now...

He said he did not believe in anything other than death and denounced God. But Adéle privately thought he was just a fallen angel.

~TBC~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "But right now would be the worse time to be discovered so it was logical it would happen now. Like I said I don't believe in luck. *hits the wall and the control panel they were looking for appears* On the other hand..."  
> \--Marcus Cole, Babylon 5


	6. The Time to Prepare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's so melodramatic. Why are you guys bothering to read this? -_-;;;

Duo woke up to see a pair of anxious eyes staring at him. Or rather, the top of his head. “What?” he asked testily.

“Why do you sleep with a baseball cap on?” Simon asked, pointing to the object of his fascination.

Crap.

“I just forgot it was there!” He pulled the Yankees cap that had come off slightly in his sleep back into place. The thought disturbed him. It was true...

“Well, Adéle said to tell you breakfast will be ready soon.” With that Simon left Duo quite unnerved.

The fact was, he had not even thought about his braid since he had met the siblings. He had grown used to having the weight and balance missing. Duo felt a chill run down his spine.

Checking to make sure no one would come in and see their friend with waist length hair, Duo took off the cap and undid his hair. Reassured that it was still just as long, he moved around a bit. Just to make sure. Sighing, he put his hair back in the flat bun. With the cap back in place, he headed out for breakfast. Duo also made himself note the difference in balance without the braid there.

The things he did for his friends.

Breakfast consisted of dry cereal and a bagel for each of them. “I’m sorry, but we don’t have much...” Adéle said, flushing softly.

“It’s more then I used to get back home. You guys are much better off than I was.” The brunette sighed. Adéle paid for the meal with money from her part-time job, but Duo hadn’t been able to get a job when he was younger. He had been forced to steal for his meals because of his youth. One too many times he’d gone hungry because of getting caught. This really was much better off than he had been. Much better.

Simon received a love thawp from his sister for not chewing with his mouth closed. The pilot grinned at the fight that followed and wished he could remember his family. A family that could never have existed for all he knew... Oh well. Father Maxwell and Sister Helen were family enough when it counted. But even they were dead.

The God of Death had no need for family, he reminded himself firmly. Hilde once commented that it was a lonely existence, but Duo preferred to have himself suffering than anyone else. If he did all the work, then no truly innocent person had to. And there was a chance that no one else like him would be needed if he did it right.

“Duo, are you listening?” An angry voice cut through Duo’s thoughts.

Brought back to the present, he looked around to see a very annoyed Adéle. Simon just seemed relieved that she was off his case. Duo laughed nervously and admitted that he hadn’t been.

He was far from prepared for what happened next. Adéle flung herself at Duo, knocking him out of his chair. “Wha?” He found himself on the floor with a strong pair of arms around his neck. After a dazed moment, he heard some giggles from Simon’s direction. Adéle had him pined underneath her and she was far from happy with Duo at the moment...

“Uh, sorry?” he asked timidly, glad for the fact that none of the other pilots were here to see this. Not only had he been caught off guard, but by this naive _girl_? His pride was wounded enough as it is.

Adéle blushed and scrambled off him. “I’m sorry-” she stammered. “I lost my temper. I’m not really a morning person.” She dusted herself off and pulled her hair back behind her ears. Her blush deepened as she returned to her seat. “Please forgive me...”

He got up and right the chair. Duo then made sure his cap was still on properly before answering with a no problem. “So, you were saying?”

She stared at her fists which were balled up in her lap, refusing to look at the young man who sat across from her. Duo wondered what had her so stressed. “I said, aside from the map, is there anything else you need? Both Simon and I are horrible at planning, so most of that will be up to you.”

He thought for a moment. “I need a schedule of the guards and where they are posted. I’ll get anything needed for distractions while I’m out. The rest can wait until we have a better idea of what we’re going to do.”

* * *

Adéle was at the library looking for architectural plans of the sewers that Heero was being held in to back up Simon’s hand drawn map. Simon was checking to see when his next time to guard was and getting a complete list of where all the guards were posted. And Duo was left to his own devices.

The first thing he did was get sleeping gas and handkerchiefs that should be thick enough to keep them from breathing in the gas. He also picked up some flashlights and a couple more lock picks.

Deeming he had everything he would need for the moment, he stopped by the hotel he had been staying at. It was fairly cheap, but one of the nicer hotels on the street. This is where Duo told the others he’d be if they need to contact him.

He waved to the clerk on duty and went up to his room. It was small but nice, painted a pastel blue and held the bare minimum of a single bed and a com unit. And it had a working heater. There were times when all Duo needed was a nice heater. As pretty as snow was, it was _cold_. Much too cold for Duo’s tastes.

Duo sat on the bed and took off the cap, letting his hair out of the bun. Then he carefully braided it into one neat braid. After bouncing around happily and rejoicing in the added weight for several minutes, Duo went over to the com unit and dialed the number Quatre had given him.

But it was Trowa, who had a rather nasty bruise on his cheek, that answered the call. “Hello, Duo.”

“Hey, Trowa! What’s up?”

“Keep it down,” Trowa said quietly, putting a finger to his mouth.

Somewhere outside Duo’s range of sight, someone moaned and told Trowa to turn off the bright light. “Quatre?”

“He’s got a hangover.”

Duo knew his jaw had dropped and was hanging there very rudely. “Hang on a sec. _Quatre_ has a _hangover_?” It was a good thing he had an ocean between himself and the blond because when the braided pilot fell on the floor laughing, Quatre was ready to kill.

Trowa had taken cover when the usually gentle Quatre started to throw things at the screen. He sighed and waited for the idiot on the other side of the line to stop braying like a donkey. When he viewed it safe to come out from behind the chair, he saw Duo holding his side with watering eyes. “Was there a purpose to this call?”

“Course!” Duo said, grinning. He held up two fingers in a sign of victory. “I’ve infiltrated their base and will have Heero back with in a day or so!”

“We’ll be there soon. Why don’t you wait until we arrive?” He didn’t need to say that if Duo messed this up, the chance of getting Heero back would be lost forever. “And how come so suddenly? You’ve been there for a week with no leads and now out of the blue you’ve found the base?”

“Relax, I’ve got it covered!” Trowa was going to express more doubts but Duo cut him off. “Don’t worry about it. Oh and pass this on to Wufei. If you see me here, you don’t know me. Unknown acquaintances could blow my cover. Bye!”

He cut the transmission before Trowa could respond and deleted the call from the computer log. Duo didn’t want to tell the others about Adéle and Simon. The less said about them, the better. Even knowing that they wanted his best friend dead, he couldn’t bring himself to wish them harm. He could only hope they would forgive him.

This peace was making him soft.

Trowa and Quatre would fly to New York as soon as the blond could move, or before that. Duo assumed Wufei would do the same once he heard. Trowa’s doubts only made him want to prove that he could do this alone. That gave him only a day or two to work.

Sighing regretfully, he put his hair back in a flat bun and put his Yankees cap over it. Back out into the freezing weather... On the way back to Adéle’s apartment Duo picked up some explosives to be part of the distractions he had planned. He bought a special gun for Adéle. One that he hoped she would not use.

Time to prepare.

* * *

Adéle was sitting at the kitchen table when Duo made it back. “I couldn’t really find anything. I guess Simon’s map will just have to be enough...” she said, fidgeting slightly.

Something was on her mind. And it wasn’t just the fact she didn’t find anything. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He set the box he’d been carrying down by the door and slid into the chair next to her. He half expected her to brush him off, saying she was fine. He also had a feeling that what came next would not be good.

She approached the subject with care, making Duo nervous. “What do you think about me, Duo?”

Oh. Well that was a relief. She just need a confidence booster. Piece of cake. “Well, you’re definitely not a morning person.” He winked at her, to show he was joking. “You’re brave and a good sister. You’re a very sympathetic listener and an all around good person.” She absorbed the information as Duo added playfully, “And your eyes are to die for. Just like two glittering emeralds.”

“Duo, I-” she faltered and looked up into his eyes. “I don’t know how to say this, but...”

When it hit him where this conversation was going, all Duo wanted to do was strike his head against the wall for making that last statement. He also realized just how close they were. “Adéle... Stop. Just don’t say it.”

“Why? Why not? Duo, I really li-”

Duo put his fingers on her lips. “Adéle. You’re in over your head. Believe me. You really don’t want to say those words.” Tears began to fill her eyes. Great. Not only was he losing his one chance to find Heero, but he was making the girl cry. Why couldn’t he just use this and make her happy for the day or so he needed to get Heero back?

Because that would be the worst kind of lying.

She ran off, leaving Duo alone in the kitchen. Sensing there was nothing else he could do, he got up and made a sandwich. Peanut butter and jelly. She’ll see what a mistake she made by getting a crush on him was. Soon enough. Right now, he just wanted some food.

* * *

Luckily for Duo, Adéle did not mention his rejection when she came back. She still wanted him to plan out the escapade. The plan was as follows.

Adéle and Duo would wait until Simon was on duty tomorrow night. After about thirty minutes, they would gas the hall. Simon would be knocked out with the other guard on duty, but it would take the blame off him and his sister who would never think of harming her dear brother. Simon was slightly put out by the fact, but Adéle was relieved, even pleased, and talked him around.

There was a general meeting that day for the X-cybers to supposedly show off the results of the torture. Adéle was to leave early with the excuse that she was feeling sick. She would then walk home, slip out the back door, and meet Duo at the entrance of the sewers. They would start setting up the explosives to be used as distractions to help them get away.

After the gas was released, they would pick up the prisoner. If pursued, they would detonate some of the distraction bombs and spilt up with Duo taking the Gundam pilot, then rendez-vous behind a Dunkin’ Donuts shop at the other end of town. If not, they would proceed to a random dark ally, kill the pilot, and leave the body where it could not be found. It was supposed to snow that night, so footprints shouldn’t be a problem. Even if it didn’t, New York was crowed enough that footprints would be impossible to follow.

Duo’s real plan slightly differed. If pursued, he would shake the X-cyber member following him and depending on Heero’s health, get him to a safe place. Then he would return to the base and kill the key leaders. If not, he’d shake Adéle and do the same. Just in case Heero was too hurt to leave alone, Duo would set up some extra explosives to give the X-cybers an unpleasant surprise.

The night and day in between the plan and the action passed quickly. Adéle and Simon were getting into place as Duo settled into a little niche he’d picked out earlier to wait for Adéle. She had been acting normal towards him, so he figured that she was over her crush. Hopefully.

Treize Khushrenada once compared life to the stage; each person playing their role to the fullest, add-libing when one forgot a line. Well, he probably wasn’t the first person to make that metaphor, but Duo couldn’t think of where else he’d heard it. He reflected, as he sat in the dark corner preparing the explosives, that this drama was about to play out.

The time to prepare was over. Now was the time to act.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quote of the Chapter:  
> Marcus: "So, I went to the effort of preparing this chart. Now then, here's you right here at the heart of everything and why not. And here is me. This is the captain and here's Franklin. Here's my mom and dad. There don't actually have anything to do with it. It's a very good picture of them, don't you think?"  
> Ivanova: "Marcus."  
> Marcus: "I actually think I have come up with a way to explain the organization structure of Babylon 5 using the Ottoman empire as a model. It gets a little confusing around this bit here, but one has to start somewhere."  
> \--Susan Ivanova and Marcus Cole, Babylon 5


	7. Time for Action

Adéle had arrived on time and they had set the rest of the explosives up without anyone the wiser. She didn’t even mention their conversation from earlier. She had either gotten over him (which he hoped, but doubted) or was very good at concealing her emotions.

They were both dressed head to toe in black. Duo had felt odd when looking at the mirror. He was wearing his usual mission outfit, but without the braid he just didn’t look.... _normal_. If Heero was just sitting in his cell waiting for the right chance to break free... he’d have one angry God of Death at his throat.

It had been about ten minutes since Simon had gone on guard. Adéle nodded to Duo and put a black handkerchief over her mouth, both to protect her from the gas and keep someone from recognizing her at a glace. Duo did the same, making sure that the gas would not effect him. He half hoped that it would knock out Adéle. Then he’d have less to worry about.

The time to act has arrived.

Duo set the gas bomb and let it roll in the darkness till it was almost right next to Simon’s boot. The kid had been keeping the other man on duty busy with conversation, so neither of them really noticed the sound. The other man didn’t detect the gas until too late.

Adéle was keeping herself in check, but he could tell she wanted nothing more then to see if her brother was okay. He winked at her to prove his point. Duo wasn’t like X-cybers. _This_ gas would only put the two to sleep for thirty minutes or so and would leave no nasty headaches after. Unless the person was unfortunate enough to land on his head.

The door was unlocked, as Simon said it would be. The kid also said there would be a technician on the other side. Duo guessed there was some new technology keeping Heero from escaping in there.

The truth was, no one but Dr. Kotanay and that technician knew what was going on. That was what the general meeting was for, but Simon was on guard and Adéle left early. Duo hadn’t a clue of what to expect.

He cracked the door open silently and put another gas bomb in that room. After waiting for a few moments to let the sleeping gas take effect, he nodded to Adéle and slipped into the room.

Taking a brief glace around the room, he noted that Heero did not seem physically harmed. The sleeping gas had put him to sleep as well, meaning he wouldn’t accidentally blow Duo’s cover. He went over to where a kid in a wheel chair was laying over some controls and stopped a recording. Curiosity overcame him.

While Adéle was busy freeing Heero of his confinements, he skipped back a few minutes on the cd. “Duo, there’s something wrong with the pilot...” But he had already pressed play.

Duo’s feet were planted on the ground in shock at what he heard. He couldn’t have moved any better than someone tied to train tracks. It was... Heero’s voice. But it can’t be... Heero would _never_ show that much emotion. He was _never_ afraid. It had to be someone who _sounded_ like Heero. Yeah, that was it. They couldn’t get Heero to cooperate so they just got someone who sounded like Heero to come in...

He turned around to see a very pale Adéle. She had stopped moving when the cd started as well. Wait a sec, was _she_ crying? Maybe this was no bad thing then. Duo quickly turned off the Heero-sounding-person and breathed a sigh of relief. It sounded way to much like Heero for comfort.

Adéle was still stuck in shock. Oh well, Duo could get Heero out easily enough. When he saw the confinements, he was surprised Heero didn’t get himself out of them. Wait a sec, there was that gas stuff. Maybe Heero was still suffering the sides effects of that? Were those tears on Heero’s face? They couldn’t be... That would mean that it was his voice in the recording...

What the hell did they do to Heero?

He carefully wiped the tears away and finished getting Heero free. Cold anger was taking the place of his normally cheery disposition. The doctor was going to pay. Hell, if Adéle hadn’t been there, Duo would have sent the kid in the wheelchair to whatever god he prayed to. There had been snickering in the background of the recording and Duo hadn’t a doubt of who’s laugh it was.

Duo lifted his unconscious friend out of the chair. He then got angry at Heero. The kid in the wheelchair must weigh more than the pilot! He may not have been fed properly here, but it took more then two weeks to lose that much weight! He didn’t eat right! Duo had made up his mind. When they got out of this, he was going to make sure Heero got some healthy eating habits.

“Let’s go, Adéle.” She still looked like a deer caught in headlights. But she nodded numbly and followed him out. They had spent way too much time in there. And Duo didn’t trust himself enough to just run away if they met up with some one on the way out.

But they had no problems getting out. Duo nearly laughed at their security system. He didn’t even have to trigger the bombs. They wouldn’t have any idea that Heero was missing until one of the guards woke up. How pathetic. Granted, the circumstances that made it possible for Heero to be rescued were a bit beyond coincidence. But still, they had assumed no one could find the place. And someone would eventually find it. Because assumptions lead to mistakes.

As if Lady Luck was cheering them on, it started to snow as well. Now there would be no way possible for them to be followed.

Adéle seemed fazed the entire time. Had there been something on the recording that Duo had missed? What did she hear that was different? In any case, her soft nature was showing through. He had seriously doubted to begin with that she knew what she was getting herself into. And he was about to test that.

Once he felt that they were far enough away, Duo stopped in a random alley. Just as promised. Then he carefully set Heero down in the snow, resisting the urge to wrap the unconscious pilot up in his jacket. Taking the special gun out of his pocket, Duo held it out for Adéle to claim. “Wha? Duo, what’s going on?” The snow continued to fall around them.

He carefully controlled his emotions and said in a flat voice, “It’s your revenge. You should be the one to make the kill. This is what you’ve been waiting for, right?”

She took the gun. Her aim was going to be way off if her hands kept shaking like that. But aim she did. Duo waited tensely for her to pull the trigger. She gripped the gun and forced herself to stop shaking. Then her finger pulled around the trigger...

And she collapsed on the snow, dropping the gun without shooting it. Tears ran down her face. “I can’t. I just can’t. That recording... I never knew-I never thought... No!” She tackled Duo as he reached for the gun. “Please, don’t kill him!”

“I was never going to.” She was once again in shock. He slowly reached for the gun again, making sure she wasn’t going after his throat for a third time. Then he showed her the kind of bullets that he had put in the ‘special’ gun.

They were blanks.

“Who-who are you?”

Duo pocketed the gun and took off his jacket. He gently wrapped it around his friend and picked Heero up once more. Luckily, the snow hadn’t had the chance to soak through Heero’s clothes. He turned to face her. “I’m the God of Death.” He waited a few moments for her reaction. When he didn’t get one, he walked way.

* * *

She was following him, but he didn’t care. About the time he reached the hotel, she disappeared. It was all fine with him. He just wanted to set Heero _down_. He may be lighter then he should be, but he was still heavy!

There were sounds on the other side of the door. The hotel room _should_ be empty. But there were two voices arguing in there. Duo carefully set the unconscious pilot down and took out a real gun. Then he opened the door and rolled in, gun ready and aimed at the nearest target.

Which just happened to be Quatre.

He smiled and put the gun away. “Yo! Your timing couldn’t be any better!” Quatre must have forgotten the hangover incident, because he just barely stopped short of hugging Duo.

Trowa stood off to the side, waiting for Quatre to finish greeting the other pilot. “What have you found?”

The clown was getting straight to the point. They were in for a surprise. Duo locked all the emotional pain away and smirked. “Well, why don’t you check outside. As a matter of fact, I might just leave this to you. I’ve still got some work to do.”

With that Duo turned on his heels and walked right back out. The elevator doors closed just before he heard shouts of surprise. Heero was in good hands now. And Duo had more work to do.

But first, he had to find a place to braid his hair...

* * *

Adéle ran back to the X-cybers’ base after following Duo back to the hotel. She was a mess and she didn’t really want anyone to see her, but she had to know what was going on. She stayed in the shadows and waited until someone came by. And she found out some interesting things from just listening.

No one could figure out what happened. She and Duo had been in and out so quietly that no one noticed the Gundam pilot was missing until the her brother and the other guard had woken up a few minutes ago. They figured it was the other pilots who saved him.

Not that they were wrong. Duo was a Gundam pilot. He was right when he said she was in over her head.

But that wasn’t possible. Because the Gundam pilots were supposed to be horrible people who killed randomly to destroy OZ... Not someone as nice and funny as Duo. Not someone who would regret what they did later. Not someone who was tortured as he was...

That other one Duo had rescued. The boy who killed her parents. She couldn’t hate him now. Not after... Not after what she’d heard on the recording... about her parents... It was horrible. It wasn’t his fault. None of this was any of the Gundam pilots fault. They weren’t monsters. Adéle found herself close to shock several times trying to unlearn all she knew about the pilots.

But Dr. Kotanay coming over an intercom cut through all her thoughts and inner monologs.

“My dear friends, yes it is true. The Gundam pilot 01 has been rescued from our hands. But do not think that our revenge is lost. If anything, it is still in progress. You heard the recordings at the general meeting earlier. They may have the pilot, but they _don’t_ have the antidote. The pilot will remain insane the rest of his life, unless they realize just what he has. Which is highly doubtful since the disease is so outdated. Our revenge is complete against the pilot 01. But we do need to relocate before going after the others, so please begin evacuation immediately...”

Antidote. That pilot needed an antidote. Duo’s efforts had been in vain. Everything had been in vain. The revenge was taken care of. So why was she crying harder now? “Maman... Papa... Simon... I’m so sorry!”

She then ran down to the now empty holding cell and got on the computer. She had to find it. If she didn’t... She would never forgive herself. She didn’t think her parents would either.

* * *

Heero stirred. Quatre immediately jumped to his side. “Heero! Heero, are you okay?”

Trowa moved away from the wall to get Heero some water. When he got back, Heero was sitting up in bed with his hands on his head. “Are you okay, Heero?”

“My head...”

“It’s okay Heero. Duo got you out of there.” Quatre smiled brightly. But Trowa wasn’t at ease yet. There was something not quite right... As if Heero was looking _through_ Quatre, not at him.

“Duo... I’m not free... I’m still dreaming...”

Trowa was really alarmed now. Quatre was just confused. “What do you mean, Heero?” This was not good... Heero made no note that Quatre even existed.

“No... NO!” Heero tried to attack Quatre, but he was too weak. Trowa was holding him down in an instant, leaving the cup of water spilled on the floor. With a sudden burst of strength Heero nearly managed to throw him off.

Quatre stood there bewildered. “Quatre... I need some help here...” The blond eeped and ran to help Trowa. But just as he got there, Heero collapsed into tears and curled up in a tight ball. Something really, really wasn’t right here.

“Please, just leave me alone... I’m sorry!”

A shiver went down Trowa’s spine. He suddenly understood the phrase about someone walking across his grave. “Quatre, get the tranquilizers out Sally asked us to carry.”

“Wha? Trowa-” But the look in Trowa’s eye stopped him from proceeding. “Alright...” Quatre left to get the ‘specialized’ first aid kit Sally had given them.

“Don’t worry, Heero. We’re putting you back to sleep for a bit.” Trowa put one hand on the distraught pilot’s head and ruffled his hair. His eyes saddened. “We’ll figure out something...”

* * *

A small smile spread across Duo’s face as he pressed the tiny button in his hand. Some where in the sewer, a loud boom was heard. People started scrambling about. Duo had made sure that the bombs would go off this time. He’d had problems in the past, but this time would be different. Maybe it was because he wasn’t blowing himself up this time? Guess Death didn’t want to lose such a good helper.

But there was one person he didn’t want the blast to kill. Duo wanted to take care of that one person himself. Dr. Kotanay.

But before he went in search of the good doctor, Duo had one more bomb to detonate. That little kid in the wheel chair was gonna get a surprise if he was still there. He was gonna blow that machine to bits. So no one else could be tortured like Heero was.

After setting off that bomb, Duo made his way into the center of the confusion. He’d have thought that the doctor would have been one of the first out. But after listening to a few of the conversations, Duo learned that he was directing the evacuation. So not a completely evil guy. Too bad. But not being the usual cowardly bad guy wasn’t going to make Duo forget the what the doctor had tried to do.. It would make it easier on him though.

“You, boy! You don’t look familiar! Who are you!”

Damn it, he didn’t have time for this. He made a dash off to the right, but found it impossible. Someone with a strong grip had taken hold of his shirt. “Look buddy, I’m just trying to get out of here before this whole place is blown to shreds.” Which wasn’t going to happen. Duo had made very sure that the bombs he set would _not_ bring down the rest of New York. That was the last thing he needed.

The person with the death grip turned Duo around to get a look at him. What Duo saw was just disgusting. A filthy old man with yellow teeth. And he _smelled_. It took all of his will power to not wrinkle up his nose in disgust. How Duo didn’t smell him from a mile away, he would never know. Jeeze, he had to be a chain smoker or something to smell that bad. “It seems to me that you’re one of them that started all of this.”

“Really? What made you think that?” Duo grinned and elbowed the guy right in the face, effectively knocking the old man out. He then brushed himself off and resumed his walk. He better not have picked up any of that smell either. Duo would be in a _very_ bad mood then.

Eventually he came to a large room full of people running around. And right in the center of it all was a man about thirty with a badly clashing suit; his dirty blond hair tied back in a short ponytail. A young woman walked up to the man. “Dr. Kotanay, what about the diagrams-”

That was all Duo needed to hear.

He found a dark corner where he took out his gun and aimed carefully. But before he could pull the trigger, he felt something suspiciously like a gun barrel right next to _his_ head.

Ah hell.

“Drop your weapon, now.” Great, just great. This was _exactly_ what he needed right now. Duo always managed to screw up some how. Just when it was getting good too. He just knew that it had been all too easy.

He dropped the pistol and held his hands up slowly. “Now walk.” Well gee, isn’t he polite. He could have at _least_ said please. But Duo did as the unknown person with a gun to his head said and kept his comments strictly to himself. They both moved into the light. “Dr. Kotanay! I think I’ve got one of them!”

It was remarkable how all the commotion in the room stopped. Duo and the guy behind him were at the center of attention. The guy with bad fashion sense came over. “Well if it isn’t the pilot 02.”

Duo shrugged. “Yup, that’s me. Duo Maxwell. I may run and hide, but I never tell a lie. Ow, hey!” He took the hint from the person with the gun and stayed quiet. The fact that he had realized the doc was awful close to where one of the bombs he had set was helped. Just a tad. He didn’t even try to hide his smirk.

“We weren’t going to kill you until later, but since you’ve presented yourself before us, we will have no choice but to take you with us.”

“Well, gee. Sorry to ruin your plans like that. I was only trying to help out a friend, after all-” Duo didn’t get much further because the guy with the gun whacked him over the head with the butt of his gun.

He acted like that knocked him out and fell to the floor. It had been a damn close thing too. So when the guy from behind him tried to tie up the ‘unconscious’ pilot, he got a rude surprise.

Duo rolled to his feet and punched the guy in the stomach. This time his punch was aimed to knock the guy out. He only managed a “But... how...” before he slipped into the dark. Duo reached into one of his pockets and fumbled for the detonation switch that would blow up the bomb right behind the doctor. He found it just as he heard the click of a gun.

“It seems like we are at a stand-still, pilot 02" The doc said calmly, aiming the gun at Duo.

Well, he’d had a nice life. At least Heero was safe. “You think so? I’m not afraid of dying, ya know. I’m the God of Death. I’ve done what I came here to do. I’ve saved Heero and you’ll go to hell with me.” Once again, a smirk teased its way onto Duo’s face.

“Tell me, Mr. Maxwell. Did you happen to blow up the room where your friend was being held?”

Huh? Wait a sec! What the hell was going on. “Yea. But I really don’t see why that matters!” Now he was confused! Just press the button and get it over with. Maybe the doc was so distracted by talking that he wouldn’t notice-

The doctor was smiling oddly. It was a down right creepy expression. Duo was suddenly paralyzed by his eyes. They weren’t sane... “Such a pity that. It looks as if your friend will just have to be insane for the rest of his life then.”

“WHAT?!?!”

That wasn’t possible. After all that work and finally getting Heero some place safe... The doc was fooling with him, trying to get him to spare his life... That had to be it. “Yes. You see, you blew up the antidote that we were going to give him when we were done with him, so he’d be aware when we killed him.” The harsh laughter rang through Duo’s ears. “My revenge is complete. Go ahead, kill me. I’ll gladly met you down in this hell of yours!”

“No...” Duo nearly dropped the trigger to the bomb as a wave of guilt flooded him. It was his fault. He had moved too quickly. Hadn’t researched enough. If he had just waited for the others instead of trying to prove himself... Damn it! All the more reason to press the button. Hopefully it would put him out of his miserable existence. Or a bullet to the head. If that doctor could aim.

“So, what is your choice, Gundam pilot?” He looked so damn smug. Well, the God of death would wipe that smile off his face. Duo pressed the button and a soft click followed.

Then a bang of a someone’s gun, and boom of an explosion. The bullet made contact and Duo fell into darkness.

* * *

Adéle stood outside the apartment door. This is where the desk clerk had said his room was. Gathering up all her courage, she knocked once. When she heard a muffled “Come in” from the other side, she opened the door.

“Wufei, it’s good to see-” A well dressed blond who just reeked of money stopped short when he saw that Adéle wasn’t who he thought it was. He took one look at the sorry state she was in and made a quick decision. “Miss, are you okay?” He immediately ushered her into the room and sat her down in a chair.

There was another man in the room. He had his bangs covering one of his eyes and was leaning against the wall nonchalantly. Who were these people? And where was Duo? “Duo-”

“Don’t worry. He just stepped out for a moment. We’re his friends.” After making sure she could sit, the blond started to fill a cup full of coffee that had been brewing next to her. He pushed it in her hands.

Friends? They couldn’t be... “You... You-you’re both Gundam pilots? L-like Duo?” The blond nodded and introduced himself as Quatre Raberba Winner and his partner as Trowa Barton.

“Don’t worry, you’re in good hands now. We’ll keep you safe until Duo gets here.” There was no way... The blond - Quatre - was too nice. He was a Gundam pilot?

The quiet one - Trowa, wasn’t it? - finally said something. “He brought a girl in to this? Isn’t Duo’s style.” What did he mean by that? Duo has a certain style? Of what, killing people? She supposed that one _could_ after so many times- why was she thinking this? Why was she even here?

She got her answer when movement came from a figure on the bed. She hadn’t even noticed it was there before this moment. The two guys in the room both jumped. The blond rushed over to the pathetic looking frame of a boy, whom she could only assume was that other pilot. “Heero! Heero, it’s okay now. You’re safe...”

But the blond’s reassuring words would not reach the hell that the other pilot was going through. As Adéle predicted, Heero began to toss and turn. “No...” Quatre quickly put something over the pilot’s mouth and he relaxed back into a dreamless sleep.

A much more upset Quatre came back and took a chair next to her. “Trowa, we can’t keep him drugged up for much longer... It would do more harm than good.” Trowa only looked away, revealing to Adéle a large bruise that had been covered by his hair. A depression sank between them.

Adéle had begun to talk several times with in the past few seconds. Each time, her voice gave out on her. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt a pair of strong hands on her shoulder. “It seems,” a calm deep voice came from behind her, “that your lady friend has something to say.”

“Wufei! You made it!” She turned around to see someone about her age of Chinese nationality. Come to think of it, the blond seemed her age as well. The silent one only looked about a year older then the rest. A new wave of shock settled on her as she watched the little reunion. An slightly older lady joined in the conversation, which Adéle had long since lost track of. They were as much the victims as the ones they killed. If they all had pasts like Duo...

The Chinese guy was trying to call attention back to her. But the other lady took one look at her and brushed the others off. “Out of the way, now! Can’t you see she’s going into shock!” The reactions each had were different. The blond immediately started to hover around her, berating himself for not noticing earlier. The silent one just stayed were he was, leaned against the wall in all appearances, asleep. The Chinese guy, didn’t the blo-Quatre call him Wufei? Well he was just looking pained and saying that he had been trying to help.

Finally, her voice was restored. “P-please. Y-you n-need this a-antidote f-for your f-friend...” She held out a trembling hand, in which rested a vile of clear liquid. All activity in the room stopped. When no one else was inclined to move, the silent one came up to her and grasped her hands, steadying them as he got the vile. “We can’t thank you enough, Miss.” That was all he said.

It was enough. She jolted out of the room before anyone could get out of the mild shock it had put them in. Tears ran down her face as she ran, taking the stairs instead of the elevator. They yelled after her, but she didn’t listen. She just wanted to put as much distance between herself, that room, and her problems as she could. She ran until the stitch in her side caused her to stop. Then she found an abandoned alley and cried, snow falling unnoticed around her.

* * *

Duo woke up feeling extreme pain in his shoulder. But when his eyes cleared and he looked at it, it was remarkably free of blood. The pain had to be from his impact with the wall... Ooo that hurt...

As he tried to get up, he finally noticed something heavy was in his lap. “Simon? Wha?” Then Duo saw that something was very, _very_ wrong with the boy.

The blood that should have been on his shoulder was on Simon’s.

“Hey, Simon! Kid, wake up! Come on, you can make it!” But no matter what Duo did, Simon did not start breathing again. No matter what, he did not open his eyes. “Why? Damn it, why?! You had to have known I was a traitor... so why...”

Simon was dead. There was no other way around it. But _why?!_ Why did he want to save Duo? Why’d the kid throw his life away to save Duo’s worthless one? He hadn’t known the kid for more then a couple of days...

“DAMN IT!”

Duo didn’t know how long he stayed like that, grieving over Simon’s body. But after a while, the flames from the explosion were getting too hot for him to stand. He stood up shakily, using the wall behind him for support. Taking in his surroundings, he noticed the doctor laying death on the other side of the room. The God of Death had taken more than a few lives that day. It seemed that if there were any survivors from the explosion, which Duo assumed there were from the fact he was alive, they had already left.

He would have to get out of there quickly. Already he had wasted too much time while in shock over Simon. As much as Duo wanted to take the kid’s body with him, he knew he couldn’t. Not with his collar bone cracked, possibly broken.

So he laid Simon out on his back, placing his hands together on his chest. Then, gulping down what ever tears that threatened to come to his eyes, Duo turned around and picked his way across the room. Simon obviously wanted him alive. So Duo would honor the dead’s wishes.

Taking one last look at the room and the corner that held Simon, Duo turned and left.

* * *

“The news from the underground fire in New York is that the flames don’t seem to be spreading. But the extraordinary information I’ve just received from the local firemen is that there were actually people down where the explosion was. Now we’ll go to Jane Vaughn who is live at the site. Jane?”

“Well Bob, I’m here with Police Officer Gorden. Can you tell me sir, just who are these people?”

“We believe that these are the bodies of the terrorist group called the X-cybers. Apparently, one of the bombs they were working on blew up and killed most of the faction.”

“It certainly looks like fate had a hand in keeping us safe today. Have you figured out if the ring leader is dead?”

“Yes. We believe we found his body-”

Quatre turned off the radio and absentmindedly stroked Heero’s hot forehead with a cool damp towel. It would all be over soon. Sally was sitting across from him, researching what the girl brought in. She was making sure that the vaccine was what that strange girl said it was and that it was the proper amount to give to Heero.

Trowa and Wufei were out looking for her. But neither seemed to be having much luck. Oddly enough, Quatre trusted the broken hearted girl. She had held much sorrow next to her heart. Duo should be back any moment now, according to the news reports. Quatre had no problems identifying Duo’s planned chaos. Speak of the devil, that should be him behind the door...

But when Quatre opened the door, a feeling of _wrongness_ chilled him. And he saw why when he got a good look at Duo. His friend looked _awful_. Not only was he soaked and frozen, but there was blood-

“Don’t worry. The blood’s not mine. But it does hurt like hell.” Duo brushed past him and took the chair by the com unit. He sank into it. He had none of Duo’s usual energy. And there was still that guilty feeling that Quatre got from him... And when Duo looked over to the sleeping figure on the bed, it intensified.

He got a hold of himself and separated his emotions from Duo’s. Then he walked over to the braided pilot. “Duo, a lady friend of yours brought the antidote over, if that’s what you’re worried about. We’re still checking it out, but it seems to be just what we need. He’ll be fine...”

“Adéle? She brought the antidote?” His mouth hung open for a moment, then he shut it quickly. Quatre didn’t like the odd look in his eye. “Craziness just has to run in her family. I mean, that’s just not normal!” Duo’s laugh had this strange tint in it. _Some_ thing had happened while he was gone. “First Simon, now Adéle. And won’t this be great to tell Heero when he wakes up-”

Quatre leaned forward to catch the now unconscious Duo. “Thanks Sally. He just needs some rest.”

She nodded as she put down the tranquilizer. “He’ll be fine. And I’ve got some good news on that antidote. It appears like this ‘Adéle’ was telling the truth. She even brought about twice the amount needed. All we have to do is give this to Heero. In a couple of hours, he should be fine.” As she said this, Sally prepared a needle to inject the antidote.

He gently hugged the sleeping pilot and laid him out on the floor with an extra pillow he had found in the closet. It was alright. Everything would be over soon.

Everything would be over soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quote of the Chapter:  
> “Do you take yourself to be God’s messenger – an angel – or something?”  
> “If there is such a thing as an angel with black wings.”  
> \--Aya, Weiß Kreuz Glühen


	8. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now, the end. Not one of my best fics, over all, but it was still fun. I do remember that much. And angsty, but that's generally a given. Anyway, here you go.

Heero woke up slowly, not comprehending where he was. First of all, he was laying on a comfortable bed. The room smelled of lavender, not sewers. And he could have sworn that there was a pillow under his head. And no voice of his tormentor. Duo would have never left him alone for that long. Heero had this vague sense of emptiness from the past couple of hours. Or maybe it was more then that. What was going on?

He opened his eyes and tried sitting up. Bad idea. He willingly let a pair of unknown hands push him back down. He didn’t care if it was Duo being rough. That hurt. But for some odd reason, the hands seemed gentle. Wha? ...

There was a voice, he guessed it was the same person who pushed him back down. He couldn’t understand what they were saying though. Heero didn’t understand. He was never this disoriented. After all, what was the fun of torturing him if he couldn’t comprehend what was being done to him? Forcing himself to focus, Heero shoved dizziness away and opened his eyes again.

Quatre?

Quatre was with him in this living hell? Did that mean a fake blond had come to taunt him as well? Heero started to shake uncontrollably at the thought. Duo was one thing, but Quatre? He shut his eyes and waited for the barrage of verbal abuse he was sure to follow.

But all that happened was a soft voice that finally made sense speaking urgently to him. “Heero! Heero, can you see me? Heero, I’m real. Duo got you out of there. You’re safe now.” He felt something squeeze his hand. “Heero, please say you understand me...”

It couldn’t be true. Duo was playing with him. Making him think he was safe. He would come out of the shadows the second Heero started to believe and go back to making Heero’s life a living hell.

“Heero, please...”

There was a pleading note in Quatre’s voice that he just couldn’t ignore though. There was no harm in answering the fake Quatre. After all, he had long gotten over the fact that they were just creations in his mind. And ignoring them did _not_ make them go away. And maybe it might bring out Duo so he’d stop with the painful illusion. “It’s a trick. He’s doing this to-to trick me. To hurt me more...” Heero had long ago stopped caring about how awful his voice sounded. It cracked several times before he could finish the sentence.

Tears swelled up behind his closed eyes. Why? Why did Duo have to hurt him like this? And it did hurt. It hurt almost as much as when Duo _was_ taunting him. To have the closest thing Heero had ever had to a friend take malicious pleasure when he was suffering. And now this fake sense of hope... “Please stop...”

“This isn’t a trick, Heero! You’ve got to believe us.” Was that... Sally? He would have thought his subconscious would bring up Trowa or Wufei first. “I’m sorry about your headache, but we had to keep you drugged a bit longer then you should have been in order to let the antidote take it’s course.” Antidote? There was something to counter this curse? Highly doubtful. Though even the Doctor said the disease was curable... “Heero!”

Painfully, he shook his head. None of this was real. It couldn’t be. There was no possible way. If he started to believe it, it would only hurt worse when the illusion started to crumble. Best just not to believe it at all.

“Heero...”

 _That_ voice sent a jolt through his entire body. He had been right. Duo had just been waiting for him to start to believe. Now he had grown tired of the game. Heero carefully opened his eyes and prepared to see Sally and Quatre vanished with Duo standing triumphantly next to him.

He felt his eyes widen. Quatre and Sally were still there. And not only that, but Duo wasn’t wearing that strange outfit he had been in the dreams. And he looked battered and worn. “Heero, come on, buddy. You’ve gotta believe us...” But...

He was already broken. What was a little more pain?

He push aside the headache and for the first time in his memory, he looked for someone else to be comforted. He threw himself into the unsuspecting Duo’s arms and broke down crying.

* * *

Duo woke up about an hour before Heero did. He was still tired, but that didn’t matter. What did was if the antidote would work. All other emotions could be locked away til a later date. When he’d have time to think about them.

Quatre had greeted him with a wary nod when Duo joined the vigil. He looked briefly concerned, but the braided pilot brushed it off. Sally didn’t even look up from her book. But he doubted much escaped her attention. As a matter of fact, he doubted she was actually getting much read at all. She hadn’t turned the page once in the first thirty minutes he’d been awake.

He didn’t know where Trowa and Wufei were. But they had to be doing something constructive, or they would be here. He was sure of that.

His shoulder hurt like hell. He had changed out of the blood stained outfit, but it had been a painful experience. Duo would have Sally look at it after Heero woke up. But for now, he could deal with it. If Heero could deal with a broken bone and set it straight by himself, it was the least he could do to a shoulder that was probably only fractured.

It was always Heero who took the brunt of everything. He was always hurt the worst, fought the most, and trained the hardest. And what did he get in return? More pain. For himself, Duo didn’t care. But for Heero... It should have been Duo in that torture. Hell. If Heero had been the one on the rescue mission, he would have gotten him out long before then. If it had been any of the others, really.

He guessed there wasn’t anything that Heero didn’t excelled in. But the fact he _was_ Heero. The guy who nearly killed himself for the colonies half a dozen times. The guy who was _willing_ to give his life at anytime. The one who never realized that the world would crumble if he did die. At least, it would for his close friends.

Trowa and Wufei used to idolize him, whether they realized it or not. After the clown lost his memories he was sort of disillusioned, but for Wufei, Duo could have sworn it was stronger. To him and Quatre, Heero was a good friend, even if _he_ never realized that. Even though Quatre was the one who came up with the plans, Heero was the real leader. Heero was the one who pushed everyone to their limits. Heero always knew exactly what to do.

And Duo hadn’t a doubt that there would be a big hole where the earth had been if Heero had died when he self-detonated.

And, damn it! Hadn’t they all been through enough already? Couldn’t the world just leave them alone for five seconds? Was that really too much to ask?

Don’t think. None of that was going to help Heero. All it would do was depress Duo more than he already was. Ha. Duo depressed. He doubted Hilde would recognize him like this. Serious, yes. Depressed? Never. But right now he couldn’t even bring himself to believe Heero would even wake up. What a fun mood to be in. Was this how Heero spent everyday? Depressed 24/7? He didn’t know wether to laugh or to cry. Though randomly breaking down crying was beginning to seem good right now.

At first, Duo was so spaced out that he didn’t even notice that Heero _had_ , in fact, woken up. Quatre speaking brought him out of his thoughts. “Heero. Heero, can you see me? Heero, I’m real. Duo got you out of there. You’re safe now. Heero, please say you understand me...”

No response. Duo’s voice was caught in his throat. He couldn’t say a word to break the long silence that fell. Heero’s eyes... He had them closed now, but before... They were so _scared_. And now he seemed to be fighting back _tears_.

Quatre finally broke it after what seemed like an eternity. “Heero, please.” He was pleading, trying to keep back the emotions he was getting from the pilot. And from the shocked and scared look on Quatre’s face, Duo could tell they weren’t pretty. No...

“It’s a trick. He’s doing this to-to trick me. To hurt me more...” Hope flared up. Heero _recognized_ Quatre was there. Now all they had to do was to get him to believe that he wasn’t delusional anymore-

“Please, stop...”

Duo was once again frozen. Heero’s voice had been bad, that was what he attributed the flat depression and stuttering to in the first sentence. But that wasn’t it. That voice on the recording really had been Heero’s. Somewhere in the back part of his mind he still half-hoped it was someone else. Irrational, but who needed rational thoughts?

“This isn’t a trick, Heero! You’ve got to believe us. I’m sorry about your headache, but we had to keep you drugged a bit longer then you should have been in order to let the antidote take it’s course.” He wasn’t even listening now. Heero just laid there in apathy, waiting for whatever torment he been through to start up again. “Heero!” Now even Sally’s voice held a note of desperation.

Heero just barely shook his head. For some reason, that unfroze Duo’s tongue, even though all he managed was a soft, “Heero...” _That_ got a reaction. Heero opened his eyes again slowly. And then they widened. They finally came to rest on him. There! This was his chance! “Heero, come on buddy. You’ve gotta believe us...” Should he keep talking? There seemed to be something about his voice that got Heero’s attention. Couldn’t for the life of him think of what it was, but the fact remained.

And then hell must have frozen over, for Heero flung himself on Duo and burst into tears. Duo was in such a state of shock that he didn’t even note that the movement had really hurt his shoulder. Awkwardly, he used his good hand to stroke Heero’s head.

Quatre... Quatre! Where on earth was he? This was his kind of thing, not Duo’s. But when he’s frantic eyes finally found him, the blond only shook his head. “You need to comfort him, Duo. I just know it.” What the hell did that mean?! Duo was still trying to get over the fact that _Heero_ was crying.

Just what had Heero seen?

Eventually, he exhausted himself with all the crying and fell asleep in Duo’s arms. The braided pilot untangled himself gently tucked Heero in. “Duo, your shoulder-”

Sally just _had_ to say something. He had completely forgotten it and now the pain was coming back ten fold. He finally gave in and let her fuss over it. But he didn’t hear much of what she or Quatre said. Duo guessed he was in shock, but he could have cared less.

All that mattered was one small figure that lay on the single bed in the hotel room. All that mattered was that Heero might just have woken up from that awful nightmare. All that he was safe.

All that mattered was now he could get a little sleep.

* * *

It was nearly two months before Heero started acting like his usual self. And even then there were still relapses and nightmares. Duo had insisted that he stay with him and Hilde. He also immediately began cooking world class cuisine, “to get Heero back on his feet.” The braided pilot tended to hover over Heero as he ate, making sure he polished off all of the meal.

And to Heero’s great surprise, Duo was an amazing cook. It had taken his stomach a bit to get used to the rich food, but he found himself now looking forward to meal times. The only thing that bothered him was the fact of Duo’s constant presence.

He knew Duo had noticed his awkwardness. But there was nothing Heero could do about it. Try as he might, all he could picture was the cruel smile coming back and Duo telling him the past couple of months had been a dream... That thought was enough to chill Heero’s blood every time Duo walked in the room.

The first week they had stayed on earth. Sally had been reluctant to move him in that condition and Trowa, Wufei, and Duo apparently were searching for someone. Heero was never told who and he never asked. Everyone always seemed distracted when the subject came up, so he just left it.

The news reports had it that the leader, Dr. Kotanay, was killed in the blast. Most of the others were either dead or too weak to take up leadership. Without a leader, there was very little threat from that corner.

From there Heero was whisked back to Duo’s new apartment in the L2 colony where Hilde cordially invited everyone to stay for awhile. It was bigger then the last one and much fancier. He sensed Quatre’s hand in this, but either Duo didn’t mind the bit of charity or he hadn’t noticed.

Trowa had been the first to leave. He had to get back to the circus before Catherine started to worry. Quatre left when he felt Heero’s health was stable, saying he had to get back to business. They still got a call once a week from him making sure everything was alright.

Sally stayed for a while longer before Lady Une needed her back in the Preventers. The real surprise was when Wufei turned her down when she asked if he was coming back as well. “I have a few weeks leave from the Preventers,” he replied. “I see no reason why I can’t spend them now. Just call me if any major crisis pops up.”

Heero just happened to overhear Hilde questioning Duo about the Chinese boy’s behavior. He merely shrugged and said, “Maybe he feels a bit guilty for not preventing this. Maybe he’s a bit scared. I kinda figured Wufei and Trowa sorta idolized Heero. Trowa lost it when he lost his memories and can understand what happened to Heero. Wufei on the other hand just realized anyone can be broken; it’s just a matter of finding their weak spot.” Heero found it difficult to believe someone idolizing him. But that still left the reason why Wufei stayed a mystery.

But even Wufei had to go back at sometime. Which left Duo and Hilde to watch over him. He found that between the two of them he was never left alone. Even Duo’s company was preferable to being alone. If he was alone, Heero could never tell what was real or not.

No one asked him to tell what happened. He had the feeling Sally hadn’t needed to warn the others against that. Even so, Heero had to face it sometime. And it took him a while to find the courage to face Duo.

Why Duo? They had originally gotten off on the wrong foot. Heero supposed it didn’t help that the other pilot had shot him several times. And he took revenge by way of stealing Deathscythe’s parts to fix his own Gundam. But after all of that, Duo was the first person Heero considered a friend. He hadn’t realized it at first, but it was true.

It was hard now; every minute spent in his company tried Heero’s frail courage. And Duo could do nothing but sit back in frustration. He had realized that he was part of the reason Heero was always a bit jumpy. And Duo couldn’t imagine what was bugging him either. If this lasted much longer, it could tear apart the fragile friendship.

He steeled himself that morning as he walked down to the breakfast table only to find Duo had gone out early. Hilde put out a bowl of cold cereal in front of him, taking up the braided pilot’s task of making sure he ate. She offered to go with him to the junk yard, but Heero politely refused. He would much rather face Duo alone. Even if it meant walking by himself for a few minutes.

Taking a jacket from the closet, he started off. Heero found walking more enjoyable then driving. He could think clearer and wasn’t as much as a hassle. With all the people walking by, he wasn’t really alone either. It took him longer then it would have to call a taxi, but then he wasn’t exactly in a hurry to get there. As it was, he got there quicker then he wanted.

Duo was there, working on one of his latest projects. Heero hesitated in the door way for a while, before walking in. Finally, he got up the courage to talk. “Duo...”

The other pilot nearly jumped out of his skin. “Ack! Heero! Don’t sneak up on me like that! You’ll give me a heart attack!” When Heero opened his mouth to say something, Duo shut up and waited. But no sound came out. Finally, he just gave up sat on a cleared table, looking at the floor.

He heard Duo sigh and start working again. For a while neither of them said anything. Come on, Heero. It’s now or never. If he didn’t tell Duo now...

Finally, he spoke up.

* * *

Duo had been so close! So close. He could feel it. Heero had been about to tell him. So damn close! He stole a glance at the silent pilot out of the corner of his eye while looking for a replacement for one of the components in the TV. Heero was sitting on a table near by, legs held tightly against his chest and eyes staring intently at the ground. So unlike the old Heero. But the new one...

The new one was worse. At least the old Heero never got _that_ depressed. At least the old Heero had something to live for. Duo half expected to wake up on day to find out that Heero had wasted away while he slept. And he was always the worst when around Duo. It hurt to admit, but it was true. There was something about Duo that kept the other pilot from completely recovering. He was half tempted to send Heero to Quatre. Maybe then he wouldn’t be so miserable...

But the new Heero was too fragile for that. If it sounded like Duo was trying to get rid of him...

He went back to concentrating on his work. Duo would never get the TV repaired at this rate. He was so focused on it, that he nearly didn’t hear what Heero said next. But it was a good thing he had. “It wasn’t all that bad at first.”

It took a moment for the phrase to register. When Duo realized what he meant, his voice suddenly stopped working. He caught his breath. It can’t be... Heero was... He couldn’t... Why to Duo of all people?! He wasn’t sure _he_ could handle it, much less Heero!

But Heero continued without a response from Duo. “At first it was just voices accusing me. Voices are easy to block out.” His breathing became jagged and rough. His eyes... so _scared_.

“Heero,” Duo said, finally regaining his voice. “You don’t have to tell me this.” Please, don’t tell Duo. He was the last person Heero wanted to break down in front of. Duo was horrible at this kind of thing. Why not go to Quatre? _He_ would understand what to do...

“Yes, I do. I-” Heero’s voice cracked as he wrestled visibly with himself to regain control. He finally just gave up and let his voice loose the monotone. Taking a deep breath and refusing to look at Duo, he continued. “But then you came.”

...

Wha? Okay, that made _no_ sense. What the hell did that _mean_? He had to be joking or something. Why else would he say Duo was there? He hadn’t been after all. Duo had been trying to get Heero out of there. But he hadn’t actually _been_ there for awhile. And from the sound of the recording, it had gone from good to bad _way_ before he got there...

Heero still refused to look at him and started to shiver slightly. “I-It wasn’t the real you, but... I don’t know... I guess just my imagination. You... You told me about... everyone. The voices. Gave them faces. Told me about all those lives of the people I killed. Y-you laughed and hurt me... You s-said it was all my fault...”

Oh, damn. Heero saw - it was him? Duo felt his eyes widen at every word that was said. Everything from the past two months clicked. That was why when Heero saw him, he broke down. That was why Heero was so jumpy around him and practically fearful. Hell, no wonder he had been downright depressed. Duo was appalled for not realizing sooner.

“I felt every t-time he - th-the other Duo - kicked me or hit me... I don’t know w-what is reality a-anymore... This could all be a tick he-he set up for me. I-” He bit his lip and hugged his legs tighter in an effort to keep what ever control he had left.

Come on, Duo. Don’t just stand there like an idiot.

Duo hesitantly put a hand on Heero’s shoulder, startling him. He had to steady the other boy before he fell off the table. Still, Heero looked every where but his eyes. “Heero... Heero, damn it! _Look at me!_ ”

And after taking a deep breath, Heero did. Those eyes... So scared and uncertain... Now was not the time to think about it! “I don’t know how to get you to believe this, but you _are_ out of that place. I’m sorry! I should have found you sooner, or something but - Heero!” He was losing him! He had to think of something quick...

“Heero, I’ve said before that I may run and hide, but I never tell a lie, right? I don’t lie. You’ve gotta believe me when I say you’ve woken up!” Please let that be the right thing to say. Duo searched silently for some sign that Heero believed... something... anything! He was about to give up when something flickered in Heero’s eyes. He felt the other pilot relax marginally.

It was small, but there. There was a frail hope in Heero’s eyes. That was enough to make Duo’s hopes sky rocket.

* * *

Duo never lied. Even when he was dreaming, Duo had told him that he wasn’t real. This Duo was telling him that he was real. So maybe... Hope sprung up before he could stop it. And the look of desperate urgency in Duo’s eyes kept him from squashing it like he had every other time. Heero felt his muscles loosen up and quickly looked back down.

Duo let go of him abruptly, but not enough to knock him off balance. “Er... sorry ‘bout that.” He was laughing nervously. Heero took a quick glance up at him to find a slight blush on the other pilot’s face. “I didn’t mean-er... never mind.”

Duo went back to work. But there was something different this time. Instead of an uneasy silence, Duo started to whistle. Was it all because Duo thought he had gotten his point across? Did he? Didn’t he himself say that the only way to live a good life was to live by one’s emotions? Should he trust it?

Yes.

Duo started to chatter on about random things. Heero only half paid attention. He had made up his mind. He would believe. And for the first time in a long time, Heero felt safe.

“So then Hilde started to yell at me for not getting the right kind of tape-”

“Duo?”

“Yea, Heero?”

“Thank you.”

“No problem.”

* * *

Heero sat on a bench at the park and watched the children play. The day had been nice and Hilde had practically thrown him out of the house. Said something about not getting enough sun and fresh air... Silly sentiments considering they were in an artificial environment, but he’d learned sometimes it was best just not to argue with her.

Since it was his day off and had nothing else to do, he just started to wander and found his way to this park. Now he sat in the shade and thought about life in general. And right now, it was pretty good.

He had started working with Duo at the junk yard. It didn’t hurt to be near him anymore. In fact, it really nice to have someone he thought of as a friend around. And Heero had grown rather fond of his cooking. He didn’t suppose he’d ever weigh enough to please those two, but at least they couldn’t scold his appetite.

Living with them wasn’t so bad either. There was no romance between any of them, but instead a solid friendship that would last. All in all, the arrangement worked well for all three of them. And everyone else always knew where to find him for visits, which were frequent now. This ordeal had certainly brought everyone a lot closer...

And if life were a dream; one that would pop one day and send him back to that nightmare-

“Excuse me, sir. But are you Heero Yuy?”

Baffled, he looked up to see a young woman about his age standing in front of him. She seemed vaguely familiar, but for the life of him Heero didn’t know where he’d seen her before. He nodded.

“I just wanted to tell you that I’m... sorry. I never knew...” Her eyes shaded over. Heero got up and reached out to her but she backed a way. “I hope you can forgive me.”

“What do you-”

She cut him off. “Please tell Duo that I’m okay. I don’t want him to worry. Again, I’m really sorry about what happened.” She looked up at him one last time, tears streaming down her face. Then she smiled and walked off.

If he hadn’t been so surprised he would have followed her. But by the time he had finally gotten over the shock, she was gone.

When he told Duo about the puzzling encounter, all he did was smile sadly. “She was an old friend of mine. Say, if you get the ingredients, I’ll cook whatever you want tonight!” And Heero left it there.

And that night when Heero sat at the table watching Duo and Hilde tease each other and himself in turn, he continued his train of thought from that morning. If life was just a dream, then it was a very nice one. After all, dreams were supposed to be pleasant things.

And this dream couldn’t get any better.  
  
~Fin~


End file.
